hi guys,

hope you are all doing well, and that you all had a good easter.

the last few days have been one of gaining strength.

my A bro contacted me and asked me to meet him.

i pondered for a while because i wasnt sure that i wouldnt get roped in again with his problems.

anyway i decided that i would meet him and he started of by saying," if i tell you something will u promise not to stop the car and tell me to get out"

to which i replied" tom, just tell me, dont make a drama out of it"

he took a deep breath and said" dont flip, the other night i took cocain"

i just looked at him and said" thats your problem to fix, why would i flip over that....ur an adult....u make your own decisions and take the concqunces of those decisions.

well you should have seen his face it looked like he was thinking ( damm, that didnt get her back on side)

after that i changed the subject....
we talked for about an hour then i made my way home.

this was such a big thing for me...to take care of myself and let him do the same.
.
but the sense of freedom i got from not feeling i had to fix his life was unbelieveable!

and the funny thing was that i no longer felt the need to fix him.....thats his job

the only person we can control is ourselves!

love in recovery.
irish

Wow Irish! That's great, I am proud of you I know how it cost... o I spent so many years worrying about my family and trying to fix everything... after lose my energy, my money, my emotions, my time ... I just found me in a total failure and they were just doing same things and expecting me to take care of the mess!

Whe I got married I discovered for first time that I actually could have my own life! Ha, but then there I was fixing my marriage and trying to control my husband and soon he knew all the tricks about how to manipulate my feelings!

You are so health, my friend! I want to get there and am working on it.

Big Hugs,

Lucia

hi lucia,

i was just thinking about you yesterday, wondering how you were doing.
and up you pop today :-)

how you doing?

thanks for the kind words hun.....its great to be told when ur doing well.

i know what you mean about your hubby learning all the tricks to manulipuate your feelings.....
i sometimes think that acoas emotions are like keyboards....press a button and off we go...with all the negitive thinking.

like you i thought that finally i had my own life when i got married, but i too was still controling/manulipuating/fixing.

i found out after i came into acoa that it was me who needed to change....instead of me trying to manulipuating/controling someone else in my life and trying to change them.
i must have thought i was superwoman :-)


would you believe that after talking to my brother the other night, that last night his g/f rang me and said"just ringing you to let you know that tommy is trying to kill himself"

to which i replied" then why are you ringing me.....its the doctor/hospital he needs"

i know what hes playing at, because he couldnt get me to look afer him when he told me he took cocain, he tries pushing another button by thratening to kill himself.

but i wont give in this time....i refuse to be manulipuated anymore.....or to take control again.

i've stopped going from crisis to crisis and i intend to stay that way.

it would be all too easy to just fall back into the fixing/controling mode again....and i have to protect myself from going down that path again

love in recovery.
irish

HELLO THERE IRISH!!

WE MET THE OTHER NIGHT IN THE CHAT ROOM!!

HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL AND FOUND FOLKS TO CHAT WITH.

LOVE

E

hi mrsSober,
welcome to the room,

you and the other girl were the first two ppl i'd seen in the room...so i couldnt resist popping in lol

i'm a fulltime carer to mum and at home most of the time, so accually talking to other adults is great

anyway better go get mum up.....

love in recovery
irish

Hi Irish,
I'm impressed with your fortitude!

I pray to one day have your strength of character and your peace of mind. You're an inspiration

Hope you're having a sunny, happy day!
Seeking Serenity

morning guys,

thanks for replying.

its great to see ppl replying....even though i know ppl are looking at the post, its great went someone replies and shares the experiance.

well its 8.10am and i'm up since six.....well got up at seven...i faught getting up at six lol.

i'm off to see my son play their top match.....the boys they are playing are top of their leauge, and my sons team are second.

say a prayer that they at least draw, because this team hasnt lost yet....my sons team only lost one match at the begining of the season and it was to this other team.

jeezzz couldnt bare to see my sons team spirit crushed.......they have came on leaps and bounds since that first match, and it seems that no one can touch them....and they are only 7 lol.

i've just made plans for my sons birthday.....he gose to see matches every second friday and i've asked the girl about my son being a mascot.
and she said yes, so he will be leading his fav football team out on to the pitch and getting posters with his fav team.....

he'll be so chuffed!
cant wait!

jeezzzzzzz i'm sorry for rattling on, thinking out loud here lol

take care,
love in recovery.
irish

(((Irish)))

Good news!! I am a full time mom too!! 3 small kids!! 19 months to 6 years old.
HELLO???? Can you say NUTS?

I LOVE YOUR ENTHUSIASM HERE!! I LOVE YOUR POSTS!!

My friend is also a mom. I will pm you my email and if you ever want to chat, please feel free to email me. we can set a time.

Usually, I am not up that late Or shall I say I try not to be!! Sometimes I just can't sleep!! YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO GET THAT WAY TOO

so check your pm and forgive me if I do not check mine as often as i should.

email me anytime, I would love to chat with you!!

Love,

Elaine

***************************************************************

hi mrsSober,
welcome to the room,

you and the other girl were the first two ppl i'd seen in the room...so i couldnt resist popping in lol

i'm a fulltime carer to mum and at home most of the time, so accually talking to other adults is great

anyway better go get mum up.....

love in recovery
irish

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