I'm new here and I'm going to try and describe my situation without being too wordy. I come from a family where excessive drinking is the norm at get togethers. It's been that way all my life. Now I'm facing something new. 4 years ago my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My parents didn't tell me for two years. He is now at a point where he needs someone with him 24/7. Caring for him is frustrating and emotionally draining. That's not why I'm here, that's just backround.
My Mom believes in being tough and handling your own problems. She's not talking about her emotions to anyone...not me (only child), not her friends. She was at one time what I would classify as a "social drinker". She's now drinking more often and consuming more at a time. At first, I ignored it and blamed Dad's illness for it. Now, I've discovered that certain things have happened and I've started to look at the big picture and I'm realizing something must be done.
I recently found out that Mom got a DUI in Dec 2003. I found out that the Wednesday night "classes for work" that I took care of Dad during were not for work, they were alcohol dependancy classes she had to attend because of her DUI. I am now aware she drove with a suspended license, did things that violated her probation, I could go on and on.
What everything boils down to is I am hurt, angry, and worried. I am hurt that she can't talk to me, we both take a big part in caring for Dad. I am angry that she is drinking this much, that she drove in that condition (I live only 2 miles from where she was pulled over), and at the deciet. I worry about her. I worry she's trying to do too much, she won't share her feelings with anyone, and as selfish as it sounds, I worry about what I'm going to do if she does something that would leave me to care for Dad alone. I know she's grieving. I know she's angry. It's the prime years of their lives, the ones they were going to spend traveling the world together and instead she is watching this disease pull him further from her everyday. I can not let that be an excuse for her drinking behavior anymore though. Something has to give. I'm asking for help because I don't know what to do. Do I confront her? Do I admit to having found out the things she's been hiding from me? I just don't know. Don't know anything other than that I need help. Thanks for putting up with my rambling.
Socks the new kid on the block