When I started do the steps last year, I had trouble to do steps 2 and 3. Than I was told that my HP could be just the AA group.

That worked for step 2. I could accept then that there was a power greater than mine, the group, and that that power could restore me to sanity.

But I was not willing to turn my life and my will to an AA group and also I could not believe there was another greater power that was slightly interested in restore me to sanity. I mean, I had cut my relashionship with the father or Jesus, which used to be the God of my understanding and also could not believe anything else.

I tryed it back to church. I went to mass, I confessed with a priest, I went to an old church I used to travell to pray for the saint I would believe was my protector.

But this going back to catholic routes did not work and I found myself full of guilt, confused and angry that the God I grew up with had not did for me what I could not do for myself and my life was just a mess. Where had him been?

I am still searching. It is where my nick came from. From U2 song, what is not really their song but old sing on churches, I still haven´t found what I am looking for.

I have no understanding of Higher Power. I know there is powers greater than mine. And because I really have no choice, I decided it can restore me to sanity.

I would like to listen about how others are doing or did these steps.

Hugs,
Lucia

Hi Lucia,
AA separated spirituality from religion. Please believe that there IS a spirutual power greater than you. What you are used to believing from your past--may not work for you now. Separate your spiritual from religion and you will probably find your HP. Be honest with yourself and take ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Do you have faith that when you turn on a light switch that the lights are gonna come on? That what "blind faith" is. Faith here is separated from scientific facts. Like when the wind blows, you can't see it but you feel it--so you know it's there. Put your faith in your HP AS YOU UNDERSTAND HIM. Not how you were taught to understand Him. Faith in your HP is intangible--Have you ever seen electricity--No--but you've seen the results--it works.
Results will come--Your HP has not left you--you left Him(as you understand HIM)
He has been there all along.
Take it one day at a time.
Hope this helps,
needfaith(and found it)

Hi Lucia,

Developing and maintaining faith in a Power greater than ourself is a process that takes time. It begins, as the BB tells us with a simple belief (or willingness to believe) and progresses to results and eventually faith.

Step 2, for me, was a matter of letting it happen. I had that willingness to believe, for inside of me was a fundalmental belief in God, although my understanding of God has changed what I had in the beginning was enough.

I saw miricales happen in the form of peoples lives being changed, for the better. There was happiness and freedom in them that I wanted. I wanted to find what they had.

Step 3 came easy. It was a decision to do the remaining steps, in order, with my sponsor, so that I might experience the psychic change that I saw in the lives of other members of the group.

I am 3 years sober and my faith continues to grow. Each day is a decission to follow my will or God's will. I cannot plan a better day for myself than God can give to me. I screw it up every time I try to take over. So I just let it happen.

Hang in there,

Jopa

I also heard that one could make the group, or the tables their higher power. I found that to be to vague for me. I also had turned my back on the faith I was brought up in from childhood.

So upon working this step, I went way back. I looked at others, sponsor, elders of the groups, and how they went about step 2 and 3. The common answer was all I had to do was be WILLING to believe in something greater than myself. I knew, that from my drinking career, that I was not so great, so I could do that. I also did not return to the church of my childhood, but instead found the spiritual connection in the prayers of the 3rd step, 7th step, among the others. Today, my conscious contact is with God, of my understanding (a forgiving Father who loves me and who does not wish to harm me, but to prosper me.)


quote name='looking for' date='Apr 23 2005, 01:03 PM' post='511']
When I started do the steps last year, I had trouble to do steps 2 and 3. Than I was told that my HP could be just the AA group.

That worked for step 2. I could accept then that there was a power greater than mine, the group, and that that power could restore me to sanity.

But I was not willing to turn my life and my will to an AA group and also I could not believe there was another greater power that was slightly interested in restore me to sanity. I mean, I had cut my relashionship with the father or Jesus, which used to be the God of my understanding and also could not believe anything else.

I tryed it back to church. I went to mass, I confessed with a priest, I went to an old church I used to travell to pray for the saint I would believe was my protector.

But this going back to catholic routes did not work and I found myself full of guilt, confused and angry that the God I grew up with had not did for me what I could not do for myself and my life was just a mess. Where had him been?

I am still searching. It is where my nick came from. From U2 song, what is not really their song but old sing on churches, I still haven´t found what I am looking for.

I have no understanding of Higher Power. I know there is powers greater than mine. And because I really have no choice, I decided it can restore me to sanity.

I would like to listen about how others are doing or did these steps.

Hugs,
Lucia
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