hi guys,
i started off having a good day and then had a row with my hubby over something he said and like a the words of a song i let the negitive thoughts play in my head.
my hubby knew i was angry cause i was so silent, but he knew to give me my space to work this out,
so rather than talk about it right then, i kept my mouth shut, and said nothing,
becuse the problem wasnt really his, it was mine....i had created this little monster in my head with my negitive thinking and worked myself up into a state.
then i remembered what my counsellors words.
she said" YOU CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS,BUT IF YOU LET THEM, YOUR THOUGHTS WILL CONTROL YOU"
and while i was driving in silence i was able to work out my negitive thinking without screaming blue murder at my hubby.
afterwards when i was calm enough to talk,he asked me if i was ok and i explianed why i was so silent,
and it turned out, i had misunderstood what he meant in the first place.
i've done a lot of the negitive thinking over years, fly off the handle and ask questions later, only to find out that i had misunderstoood what someone had meant....and this caused me so much trouble in my life.
learning to replace negitive thoughts with positive thoughts is so easy to do, when someone has shown you how to do it.
before councling if someone had said replace negitive thought with positive thoughts, i would have said " yeah right"
cause when i would get negitive i would be as angry as hell and so out of control.
but learning this how to replace negitive with positive thoughts has been a lifesaver for me, it gives me control over how I handle a situation....thats something i never had.
hope all of you had a great day today,
love in recovery,
irish
Full Version: stinking thinking.
Hi Irish!
Always good to read your posts.
This week at my job I did not have the same wise actitude you did, first I reacted and later found out had misunderstood the person. I did apologize, but the damage was done.
But it is ok too, for now I am also learning to not feel guilt over everything and not carry on unnecessary burdens. I could see I did some wrong and I apologized, but the person also was careless in her tone of voice and way of saying something that set me up. In the end, some misunderstandigns do happen and will be good if next time I wait to check first what is really going on
but I am learning to be more supportive of myself and let it go of my mistakes, I mean today I can be human and not have it all under controll. Try to control myself and people and situations really drove me insane for years.
Hugs
Always good to read your posts.
This week at my job I did not have the same wise actitude you did, first I reacted and later found out had misunderstood the person. I did apologize, but the damage was done.
But it is ok too, for now I am also learning to not feel guilt over everything and not carry on unnecessary burdens. I could see I did some wrong and I apologized, but the person also was careless in her tone of voice and way of saying something that set me up. In the end, some misunderstandigns do happen and will be good if next time I wait to check first what is really going on
but I am learning to be more supportive of myself and let it go of my mistakes, I mean today I can be human and not have it all under controll. Try to control myself and people and situations really drove me insane for years.Hugs
QUOTE(looking for @ Apr 29 2005, 08:31 AM)
Hi Irish!
Always good to read your posts.
This week at my job I did not have the same wise actitude you did, first I reacted and later found out had misunderstood the person. I did apologize, but the damage was done.
But it is ok too, for now I am also learning to not feel guilt over everything and not carry on unnecessary burdens. I could see I did some wrong and I apologized, but the person also was careless in her tone of voice and way of saying something that set me up. In the end, some misunderstandigns do happen and will be good if next time I wait to check first what is really going on but I am learning to be more supportive of myself and let it go of my mistakes, I mean today I can be human and not have it all under controll. Try to control myself and people and situations really drove me insane for years.
Hugs
Always good to read your posts.
This week at my job I did not have the same wise actitude you did, first I reacted and later found out had misunderstood the person. I did apologize, but the damage was done.
But it is ok too, for now I am also learning to not feel guilt over everything and not carry on unnecessary burdens. I could see I did some wrong and I apologized, but the person also was careless in her tone of voice and way of saying something that set me up. In the end, some misunderstandigns do happen and will be good if next time I wait to check first what is really going on
but I am learning to be more supportive of myself and let it go of my mistakes, I mean today I can be human and not have it all under controll. Try to control myself and people and situations really drove me insane for years.Hugs
[snapback]538[/snapback]
hi lucia,
great to see you here,
i know what you mean, we are only human and we make mistakes...thats the human condition
but I think its great when I can recognise that I had made a mistake!!!!!!!!
before recovery i would have just got angry and embarressed and refused to admit i was wrong.
so me knowing when i am in the wrong is a huge thing for me.
at the moment i am as sick as hell, flu, and i tend to be negitive while i'm sick...so i have to keep an ever watchful eye on my attitude.
hope all is going well for you.
thanks for replying,
love in recovery.
irish
QUOTE(irish @ Apr 27 2005, 01:49 PM)
hi guys,
i started off having a good day and then had a row with my hubby over something he said and like a the words of a song i let the negitive thoughts play in my head.
my hubby knew i was angry cause i was so silent, but he knew to give me my space to work this out,
so rather than talk about it right then, i kept my mouth shut, and said nothing,
becuse the problem wasnt really his, it was mine....i had created this little monster in my head with my negitive thinking and worked myself up into a state.
then i remembered what my counsellors words.
she said" YOU CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS,BUT IF YOU LET THEM, YOUR THOUGHTS WILL CONTROL YOU"
and while i was driving in silence i was able to work out my negitive thinking without screaming blue murder at my hubby.
afterwards when i was calm enough to talk,he asked me if i was ok and i explianed why i was so silent,
and it turned out, i had misunderstood what he meant in the first place.
i've done a lot of the negitive thinking over years, fly off the handle and ask questions later, only to find out that i had misunderstoood what someone had meant....and this caused me so much trouble in my life.
learning to replace negitive thoughts with positive thoughts is so easy to do, when someone has shown you how to do it.
before councling if someone had said replace negitive thought with positive thoughts, i would have said " yeah right"
cause when i would get negitive i would be as angry as hell and so out of control.
but learning this how to replace negitive with positive thoughts has been a lifesaver for me, it gives me control over how I handle a situation....thats something i never had.
hope all of you had a great day today,
love in recovery,
irish
My Name is Patty and I sure do remeber all those negative thoughts in the begining. Not that I do not have them now because I do. I got into AA about 6 months before my husband. I will relate the story that has saved me many times over. I was in my meeting and my husband came in and motioned to me to come and talk to him. He din;t want to talk he wanted to yell. needless to say we had some argument outside the meeting which many had heard. There were a few people who cmae out to ask how I was after he left. I said I felt like a piece of crap and that my whole day was ruined which had started out great. John the one guy who stuck around said to me, ' Patty, why don't you just start your day over right now?' Put everything else behind you come back into the meeting and listen. Put on a smile and act as if you are okay. The term fake it till you make it comes to mind. Remember you are the one who has to live day to day. Try looking at life Thru a New Pair of Glasses. Life is not easy but just put on foot in front of the other. Don't worry about later just deal with the here and now.i started off having a good day and then had a row with my hubby over something he said and like a the words of a song i let the negitive thoughts play in my head.
my hubby knew i was angry cause i was so silent, but he knew to give me my space to work this out,
so rather than talk about it right then, i kept my mouth shut, and said nothing,
becuse the problem wasnt really his, it was mine....i had created this little monster in my head with my negitive thinking and worked myself up into a state.
then i remembered what my counsellors words.
she said" YOU CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS,BUT IF YOU LET THEM, YOUR THOUGHTS WILL CONTROL YOU"
and while i was driving in silence i was able to work out my negitive thinking without screaming blue murder at my hubby.
afterwards when i was calm enough to talk,he asked me if i was ok and i explianed why i was so silent,
and it turned out, i had misunderstood what he meant in the first place.
i've done a lot of the negitive thinking over years, fly off the handle and ask questions later, only to find out that i had misunderstoood what someone had meant....and this caused me so much trouble in my life.
learning to replace negitive thoughts with positive thoughts is so easy to do, when someone has shown you how to do it.
before councling if someone had said replace negitive thought with positive thoughts, i would have said " yeah right"
cause when i would get negitive i would be as angry as hell and so out of control.
but learning this how to replace negitive with positive thoughts has been a lifesaver for me, it gives me control over how I handle a situation....thats something i never had.
hope all of you had a great day today,
love in recovery,
irish
[snapback]533[/snapback]
Stay in the now,
Patty
QUOTE(patty143 @ Apr 30 2005, 01:36 PM)
QUOTE(irish @ Apr 27 2005, 01:49 PM)
hi guys,
i started off having a good day and then had a row with my hubby over something he said and like a the words of a song i let the negitive thoughts play in my head.
my hubby knew i was angry cause i was so silent, but he knew to give me my space to work this out,
so rather than talk about it right then, i kept my mouth shut, and said nothing,
becuse the problem wasnt really his, it was mine....i had created this little monster in my head with my negitive thinking and worked myself up into a state.
then i remembered what my counsellors words.
she said" YOU CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS,BUT IF YOU LET THEM, YOUR THOUGHTS WILL CONTROL YOU"
and while i was driving in silence i was able to work out my negitive thinking without screaming blue murder at my hubby.
afterwards when i was calm enough to talk,he asked me if i was ok and i explianed why i was so silent,
and it turned out, i had misunderstood what he meant in the first place.
i've done a lot of the negitive thinking over years, fly off the handle and ask questions later, only to find out that i had misunderstoood what someone had meant....and this caused me so much trouble in my life.
learning to replace negitive thoughts with positive thoughts is so easy to do, when someone has shown you how to do it.
before councling if someone had said replace negitive thought with positive thoughts, i would have said " yeah right"
cause when i would get negitive i would be as angry as hell and so out of control.
but learning this how to replace negitive with positive thoughts has been a lifesaver for me, it gives me control over how I handle a situation....thats something i never had.
hope all of you had a great day today,
love in recovery,
irish
My Name is Patty and I sure do remeber all those negative thoughts in the begining. Not that I do not have them now because I do. I got into AA about 6 months before my husband. I will relate the story that has saved me many times over. I was in my meeting and my husband came in and motioned to me to come and talk to him. He din;t want to talk he wanted to yell. needless to say we had some argument outside the meeting which many had heard. There were a few people who cmae out to ask how I was after he left. I said I felt like a piece of crap and that my whole day was ruined which had started out great. John the one guy who stuck around said to me, ' Patty, why don't you just start your day over right now?' Put everything else behind you come back into the meeting and listen. Put on a smile and act as if you are okay. The term fake it till you make it comes to mind. Remember you are the one who has to live day to day. Try looking at life Thru a New Pair of Glasses. Life is not easy but just put on foot in front of the other. Don't worry about later just deal with the here and now.i started off having a good day and then had a row with my hubby over something he said and like a the words of a song i let the negitive thoughts play in my head.
my hubby knew i was angry cause i was so silent, but he knew to give me my space to work this out,
so rather than talk about it right then, i kept my mouth shut, and said nothing,
becuse the problem wasnt really his, it was mine....i had created this little monster in my head with my negitive thinking and worked myself up into a state.
then i remembered what my counsellors words.
she said" YOU CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS,BUT IF YOU LET THEM, YOUR THOUGHTS WILL CONTROL YOU"
and while i was driving in silence i was able to work out my negitive thinking without screaming blue murder at my hubby.
afterwards when i was calm enough to talk,he asked me if i was ok and i explianed why i was so silent,
and it turned out, i had misunderstood what he meant in the first place.
i've done a lot of the negitive thinking over years, fly off the handle and ask questions later, only to find out that i had misunderstoood what someone had meant....and this caused me so much trouble in my life.
learning to replace negitive thoughts with positive thoughts is so easy to do, when someone has shown you how to do it.
before councling if someone had said replace negitive thought with positive thoughts, i would have said " yeah right"
cause when i would get negitive i would be as angry as hell and so out of control.
but learning this how to replace negitive with positive thoughts has been a lifesaver for me, it gives me control over how I handle a situation....thats something i never had.
hope all of you had a great day today,
love in recovery,
irish
[snapback]533[/snapback]
Stay in the now,
Patty
[snapback]541[/snapback]
hi patty,
great share,
i love the saying fake it till you make it i never heard that one before.
thats the great thing about recovery, it gives you the tools to start your day over if things are going haywire.
nice having you here
love in recovery.
irish
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