[FONT=Geneva][FONT=Optima][COLOR=blue]I was in a long term relationship with an alcoholic for 11 years. I was left him, but only when i lost everything and life was unlivable with him. 4 months later he got sober. I felt like i finally had my life back and was getting control of it. I got a job, i felt like a better mother, better daughter. Everything was going in the right direction. I was continuing alanon meetings and following the steps. Then i started to date a married man. I fell for all the old lines. Im leaving her etc... A year and a half later im still holding on and he isn't going anywhere, there is always some excuse. The rest of my life seems to be totally out of control. My house is a mess. I do everything at the last minute. I want it all to end and get control over my life again. I know going back to meetings will get me going in the right direction. I need some support and instruction. I know the first thing to do is end this relationship. i have tried to do it at least a dozen times, but i have been weak. please someone help

Hi,
I really feel for you, but you are on the right track with getting involved with alanon again and leaving him. No man is worth what you are currently going through. Do you have a sponsor? If so, I'm sure they could help. This chatroom is helpful, but face-to-face meetings/support are best.
Anyway, do what you need to do to take care of yourself!!
Kathy

hey guys im 13 and i currently go to alenteen and it helps me cope........my mother and a few cousins aunts uncles.....so on...are alcholholics or recovering alcoholics or addicts or both.....its been rough trying to be a teenager and being stuck in all the DRAMA as i call it ya kno???? well if anyone can help or relate email me or call asap.....celli 2674563264 mii email is xoxbasketgrloxo@aol.com
THANKS SO MUCH

I was in a long term relationship with an alcoholic for 11 years. I was left him, I got a job, i felt like a better mother, better daughter. Everything was going in the right direction. I was continuing alanon meetings and following the steps. The rest of my life seems to be totally out of control. My house is a mess. I do everything at the last minute. I want it all to end and get control over my life again. I know going back to meetings will get me going in the right direction. I need some support and instruction.

Hello... I'm a newbie. Its nice to meet you!
I read your note; and as I did, I realized you and I have got more than a bit in common! I'd like to try to help, if I may. I have been where you are.

First of all; EXCELLENT!
Go treat yourself to a sloppy sundae right now, Sugar! Jump on over to your favorite ice cream spot! And when you get there....Stand there. Nope. Just Stand There..... SAVOR that colourful menu like its a new boy toy. " Hmmmm just what IS the bestest most tastiest flavor in here, anyway?"

Why? Because you deserve it. You KNOW its in your best interest to attend Alanon again (Psst! It is also the safest place right now, yes?)

I mean it though-this is important! If ice cream ain't it, then find out what is and supplement. How 'bout BUSTING your own shoulder slappin' your back?
The more you practice, the easier it gets.
You are more than smart enough to come out of this right side up. How'd I know?

You understand how (you yourself and) other people work (highly underrated skill) so you know what's next. And you'll do it. OK? You will do it.
When you are ready(able).
So. Now that you know ....that you know; forget the fact for now.
No obessing (if you've a mind for it, like me)

Weak? No doubt. Why else would anyone-especially you-of your calber suffer these ..... uggghhh.....better not......persons?
If you wern't feeling yourself? Hmm?

And another thing? Get off your back. Can't know for sure, but I highly suspect your back has become a favoured place to dwell lately, Yes?

Now do me a favor. Think a moment. Do you know of a voice? Yeah! Yeah! Right, but I'm SERIOUS!!
......ahem. ok...always speaks out of turn..? stays on a particular bent? No? Maybe? If yes: the next time 'they' pipe up-listen. And take notes.

The good news is your'e not terminal! You can heal. Soon you'll be able to demand these feelings fade....as they must to make way for other more prominent and positive messages you've learned. They really do leave; I promise.

And finally: Emotional distress is THE fastest train to exhaustion town.
Make a priority-then draw your face on it (HA! gotcha!!)
And get some........then some more....sleep.
Fatigue is the enemy! Believe me, please -- you won't be able to identify the open end of a bag, if you don't rest!

Weeelll....I done stuck mah only nek out with mah only own poorly harvested brand of 48 1/2% whacko humor.... : :
But I do sincerely hope I was of some solace to you.

Goodnight, sweetie.