A little over two years ago now, I was diagnosed with Renal Cell Carcinoma Stage III.
I have attended Al Anon off and on for years, but now I am in my house more than out.
I have a number of other co-morbidities and my health is failing. I look extremely healthy though. This makes it much more difficult in terms of what others think and now I can intuit that it is all part of 'the plan' and what I needed to really face my issues.
I am not at the point yet that I am grateful for this opportunity to stretch spiritually. Yet, I thought it was what I always wanted. Well, here I am. Gratitude is something I am trying to culitvate daily. Without my twelve step program, I don't know how I would get through all of this, and it is the only thing standing between me and insanity at this point I am sure. I have had a number of drug reactions that have resulted in losing many people in my life. (flying into rages) Depression is something I battle constantly.
I lost my son to cancer as well and my mother is now dying of lung cancer. This is a disease that has ravished my family. I also lost my significant other to cancer last summer. It has been hard to hold my head above water, but with the aid of the program I am doing it. (although it feels like sometimes barely). I have found the hardest thing for me is learning to just 'be.' I am so used to 'doing' that I am finding it difficult. I have been on the computer for the last couple of years kinda non-stop, since I don't have enough energy to go out. It is wonderful to have found this group.

Hi Michelle,

Glad you are here With my work schedules I can´t go to many f2f either, so I join the fellowship online.

Sorry for your losses. I also had a loss last year which still hurts and think always will. And thats when I had to change my life and like restart.

Now I can see and give value to simple daily things like a sunny day or just be still and enjoy a quiet time watching tv... I thought I needed so much more things to live and now all I want is to have what I have. Guess they name it acceptance. I don't like that word. LOL but more I do the steps more I get it!

Big Hugs