hi guys,

how are yas all doing?

i've been a busy little bee with mum, shes been sick and looking after her was a really struggle...but thank god shes much better now.

lately i've got back talking to my A bro and today i realised that although he hasnt said anything about moving back into my place, but hes been working on me emotionally while i was so busy looking after mum.

every day for the last week hes called to the door to ask for something or other, i.e asking if he could have a wash, if he could have something to eat, if i had some warm clothing he could wear... you see hes homeless again, due to not paying the rent on his flat because he bought alcohol with the money.

detaching from him is really hard while hes around me, i found when i wasnt talking to him and didnt know what was going on that it was much easier to detach.
but now i'm back talking to him,its like hes playing on my emotions again!

writing this now has made me realise, that the problem lies with myself...
ppl cant step on my boundries if i stand by what i say and not cave in because they look pitiful..

sometimes just writi g the problem down can help me sort things out.

do i feel sorry for him....yes

can i help him....no.

is his problem mine to fix....no

did i cause his problem....no

does he know where to get help...yes, because i've brought him to these places for over 15 years.

is it time to let go and let god......after 15 years of trying to help him, i'd say so.


thanks for listening to me rattling on here, just trying to work out whats going on in my head.

love in recovery
irish