Good afternoon:

A grapevine meeting was started in my area, I think that it is a great supplement to the regular meetings.

We have alot of newcomers in the area, and the regular meetings carry on from the week before, such as if we were on step 9, then no one takes the time to go back to step one, I try my best to take the newcomer aside after the meeting to go out for coffee, and let him discuss why he is there.

The grapevine meeting at least opens the door for the newcomer in that I feel that he can relate to the stories in there, kind of like the big book stories, they show what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now.

I would like to hear from someone else on their take of a grapevine meeting, also what can be done to help the newcomer to keep coming back, I hate to see anyone go back out there, I know I did and it took me a long time to come back.

Thanks for any help.

Doug C.

Hi, Doug. Great idea, a Grapevine meeting. You know, since I got my subscription to the Grapevine's digital archives, I use them all the time. There sure is a lot of great stuff in there.

I know of a number of groups that give Grapevine subscriptions to newcomers or people celebrating a year of sobriety, etc. (My online home group -- www.e-aa.org -- has a monthly Grapevine subscription giveaway.)

Getting newcomers to stick around isn't easy. So many are "high bottom" drunks who don't really want to stop, yet. The only advice I have is what Bill found when working with Dr. Bob. He "stopped preaching" and emphasized the medical side: Alcoholism is a progressive, and fatal, illness.

Welcome to the fourms!

Thanks:

Thanks Dean, I guess at times I kind of forget where I came from, I do remember my first meeting, I wasn't like everyone else, I was a high bottom, until it was explained to me just as you said, they stopped preaching and showed me.

Today I still have to remember my last drunk, even though I've been around quite a few 24's, but as I tell my sponsee's it's not the time I have in, when they ask how long I've been around, it's what time you got up this morning is all that matters, I see quite a few hoping to get the years everyone else has, when they don't reach their goal or find it unrealistic, all I can do is help.

I think this forum is great to get to know other people from all over that are just like me, one away. As my sponsor says this disease can out wait you, it's just laying there waiting to kill you, as long as I don't give in I made it another day.

12th step work also helps to remind me.

Thanks

Doug

I'm pretty much a newcomer myself, I have just over 90 days...so I'll give you the newcomer prespective on keeping the newcomer coming

For me, I didn't actually have much of a choice because I'm required by the law at the moment to go to atleast one meeting a week but the fact of the matter is I go to a meeting almost everyday. And I could have just slipped in and out, changed meetings, you know, been in the rooms but not in the programs but I decided to keep coming. I don't know how much you can really do to keep people coming, extend a friendly greeting to them and if they are willing to hang out after continue doing that. I know it really helped me knowing that the people at meetings genuinely cared about me and my sobriety, it made me want to keep coming almost so they wouldn't be worried about me you know. So I think you should keep reaching out to the newcomers but don't be discouraged if they don't return, they may not have reached their bottom yet. I thought I had hit bottom once and I stopped drinking on my own but started again and it took a slightly lower bottom to make me realize I needed the help...it takes what it takes you know. Good luck with the newcomers, keep doing what you're doing!

Hi ErinK:

Thanks for the advice, and welcome to the first days of sobriety, it can only get better now, sounds like you knew what you needed before the law did, all you needed was the bottom to hit, we've all been there, We have found that even after all of these 24 hours, you can't make anyone come to meetings, no matter how frustrated you get, guess that's one of the character defects to work on patience.

Keep coming back, your doing great!!!

Yours in sobriety,

sober today (Doug C.)