QUOTE(Patty @ Jul 30 2005, 08:45 PM)
[FONT=Arial][COLOR=blue]Hello anyone out there listening to me...anyone that can offer me a shoulder even for a minute....anything. I am sitting here being attacked by my drunken lover...the physical abuse and the verbal abuse is unbelieveable. I can't believe it is her....when she is sober..she is the most loving kind person...but when she drinks she is a demon.To find a bit of peace I have to hide from her... or just go outside and pick weeds out of my garden. Please if there is anyone out there..please offer me a shoulder...thank you....Pggolpe101@charter.net
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There is a page in "One Day at A Time In Al-Anon" pgs. 274-275 that you need to read. Find yourself a local Al-Anon group--and go faithfully. There is hope and you will find that for you there. I did.
The pages are as follows:
Once there was a man whose beloved wife was transformed from the charming girl he had married into a sodden drunkard. She suffered from a disease called alcoholism, although neither of them knew it.
He was always angry and frustrated because he couldn't make her stop drinking. The more he tried, the worse she felt about it, and the more she drank. She was full of guilt and self-reproach because she left everything to him. He had to get the children ready for school, do the shopping, cook meals and clean house.
Then one day somebody told him about Al-anon. Although he knew his case was hopeless, he thought he'd try it anyway. As he read, and asked questions nad listened at meetings, he found he could get some perspective on his problems. When he learned his wife had an disease, compulsive drinking, he stopped blaming himself for not being able to control her. He realized the children resented him because he was often cross and unreasonable, and that they loved mama because she never scolded and they knew instinctively she was sick. He began to consider his own needs, for rest, quiet and a bit of recreation, and arranged to have a housekeeper take over the home chores. He made many changes, but especially in his attitude toward the alcoholic.
After a spell of rebellion and resistance, she saw that she would have to get help.
One day she asked him to take her to an AA meeting.
In Al-Anon we often speak of the importance of prayer. This idea calls for some reflection. If I could get what I pray for, would it really make me happy? Do I always know what is best for me? Do I bargain with the God I pray to: ("I want my spouse, but only if he or she will stop drinking." ) or give Him instructions: ("Please don't let Bill keep on drinking!.)
TODAYS REMINDER
One thing must ultimately be accepted: few of us know what we really want, and none of us knows what is best for us. That knowledge remains, in spite of all our determined resistance, in the hands of God.
This is the reason for limiting our prayers to requests for guidance, an open mind to receive it, and the fortitude to act upon it.
It will quietly defer any decisions until my contact with God has made me certain they are right for me. And I will pray to be kept from taking any action, even a little one, that is intended to punish another.
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above and cometh down from the Father of lights with Whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning"
(General Epistle of James)
Maybe that will help. Although I agree also with the other person that responded " Call the Police" if someone is violent, You have to protect yourself and those around you. Toughlove is hard to do. But sometimes you have to. You have to love yourself enough not to put up with those circumstances.
Needfaith