hi guys,

hope all is well with you.

recently i was put in a position where i had to take my A bro to the hospital...because he had taken tablets and alcohol.

i was annoyed at having to do this,because i felt like i was taking a step backwards in my recovery.... but did it cause i feared for his life.

anyway he was sent to a treatment center for a week and was homeless when he got out.

and i struggled with allowing him to stay with me, cause he caused a lot of trouble for me in the past.

but as faith would have it, we had a downpour here that lasted 48 hours.

so my resistant to letting him stay desolved when i seen how hevey the rain was...and he wasnt drinking.

i allowed him to stay for a few days until he got a flat, and like an idiot i got dragged into looking for a flat for him.

anyway i found a flat and he moved in...and within one day of him moving in he was back drinking and hanging around with his drinking buddies.

at first i was mad as hell because i felt used, and lied to.

but while talking to a member of ACoA it was suggested that maybe he was telling the truth at the time he said he wouldnt drink again...but getting dry was the easy part for him...staying dry was probley much harder.

we all have struggles and sometimes we dont succeed the first time in overcoming these.

at first i was thinking" yeah right, he just doesnt care and Wants to drink"

but being in recovery i had to at least take on board what was said.


yes i'm disapointed that he went back drinking.

but it wasnt him who set me up for disapointment.....it was myself.

yes i feel used...

but he didnt use me, he didnt ask me to help him, i just found myself in a position where I felt that i had no chioce but to help

sometimes when we are helping ppl its more about ourselves than the person we are helping.

cause It was me who wanted him to get sober!

I wanted him to be an active member of my family.

I wanted to see him doing well for himself.

but i cant do it for him ..no matter how much I want to.

i can only carry the msg,

i cant get him sober,

i cant make him take responsiblity for himself.

the problem is his, as are the concqunces....he had to be the one who wants to sort this out.

this has been such a learning curve for me.

love in recovery.
irish

Hi Irish,

Thanks for share. Though love is though both ways. ((((((((((Irish)))))))))