Hi all,
My boyfriend is an addict, I was with him from we were 16 and we had 2 kids butb4 the kids came along he started taking heroin i think i tried 2 deny this 2 myself. I for got 2 mention that he was always a drinker b4 that from a young age i think maybe about 13. anyway he stayed away most of the time for roughly 6 years. anyway he came back telling me he had been clean for 18months and he wanted 2 c his kids. I had,nt counted on that ever happening. I had always just told my kids their dad lived far away.
Gradually through listening 2 him and other ppl i decided it would b good 4 the kids 2 get 2 know him as he is a really nice person from what i remember b4 he took heroin. He is in na and swears by it.
anyway i let him c the kidsfor 3 months everything was great he was always happy and on time and doing stuff wi the kids and giving them money, they thought he was great and i realised through these months that i still had really strong feeling,s for him after believing i hated him for years. He felt the same and we decided 2 give it a go, I ended up having councilling something i have never needed b4 in my life because i was so confused withallthe emotions and fear of him hurting me and my kids.
Anywaypractcally from the mom i started seeing him he changed with the kids. He changed the nights he came to see them 2 fit in another meeting which would have been fine but he just told me instead of asking if it was ok and then he started being late and cancelling b,coz he had something 2 do. He was still coming and staying about 4 nights a week but hardly seeing the kids because they would b in bed or about 2 go 2 bed when he came. I tried 2 tell him numerous time,s and he agreed and kept promising he,d make more time for them. It blew up when we where goin 2 the cinema and we where going 2 b late for the 6pm show because of him so i suggested we go 2 the 8pm show instead and he said he couldnt he had somethig to do.Even although this was meant 2 b his full night with the kids. we went 2 the cinema i completely ignored him the whole time because the kids were there and i dropped him at his house after the cinema,I got home and texted him and told him not 2 come back near me or the kids.That was 2 weeks ago he has texed me and told me 2 drop the kids off at his when he know,s they have thing,s 2 do,but wont c him on a thursday when they have nothing 2 do as he has a group meeting. What do i do, do i keep him and his selfishness away from my kids or do i let him have it his way.I dont want my kids messed up in the head because of him as they have always been good stable kids but i dont want 2 deprive them of their dad either.please give me your view,s
thank you xxx