Okay, here goes. I am new to the on-line thing and I just broke up with my sober boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. I stopped all contact with him due to his abusive nature and blocked emails and not returned phone calls. Because of the lack of response he is getting from me, he has now resorted to lying about me in the rooms. I am sure this is a manipulation for me to have contact with him, but he is ruining my reputation by saying that I cheated and that I am dishonest. I know and God knows that this is not true. I don't like the way am being treated by him or people he knows. I have been both sober in AA and Al-anon a long time and people are losing respect for me due to this and defending myself to people just makes me feel like I am making the problem worse, so I go to meetings and mind my own business. This is very hard for me because I need support and not judgement from the rooms. I have a broken heart and dealing with the nonesense has caused me to seek out new meetings away from the drama. I have more peace being away from it, but it gives my ex more time to make stuff up and one friend of mine of 18 years of this program stopped talking to me as a result and that hurts a lot. I just don't know if I am making things worse for myself by changing meetings and stopping contact. Some of these people are people I've worked with in the past and need to work with for my profession. It affects my finances and my relationships. I did the writting and talked to my sponsor and I am powerless over him and I know that, but I want to know how others would deal with this. Please let me hear your thoughts.

Hi,
I went through something similar with some friends in the program.
They didn't like what I was feeling and thinking so they started gossiping
about me and spreading weird rumors, AND I had a lot of sobriety at the
time. It was very un-nerving. I forgot that we are all alcoholics at heart
and therefore---that's what we act like sometimes.
My best advice is probably what you heard from your sponsor.
Ride it out. It will end soon. As my sponsor use to say.
Pam, "This Too Shall Pass." I guess we just can't forget that
ever.
You have a lot to deal with as you have all the other emotions from loosing
him also but it sounds like you might be better off without him.
Hang in there, stay sober and believe that HP is watching out
for you.
Keep posting if it helps.
Relationships are hard but you can get through it.
One of the first things I ever learned in AA was that ---"To get through
the storm, you have to walk through the storm." Keep on Trudging.
Hugs,
Pam

Thank you for replying. It's getting a little better and I am about to go to a meeting soon. I've been going every day and it seems to be passing somewhat. Losing respect from my fellows will pass as well. The hard part is just dealing with the knowledge that people have changed their perception of me based on lies. My sponsor reminded me today that what others think of me is none of my business, so I'm off to a meeting.
Thanks