I am having a very big problem right now.Or maybe it's just a pepple in the road.I have 1 year sober/clean on the 20th of this month and am having a really hard time with making myself look for work.It's causing my fiance and I alot of problems(he's also in recovery over a year)because he feels that I am not pulling my own weight.Which I am not.The problem I have is that a few years back I was on the road to recovey,had a good job with benefits and all.My life was finally on track,then I got really scared.Scared of success. I started using again and made a very serious attempt on my life.I have been an alcoholic/addict for more than half my life.I have no job history to speak of,no training,and no education.There isn't much out there for me to do other than s*** jobs like fast food.I had made up a bunch of fliers to put under windshields advertising housecleaning,but have not put them out due to my unreasonable fears.I don't want to be lazy mooch all my life,lose my hard earned sobriety,or lose the love of my life.How do I get past these fears?I have been praying like there's no tomorrow.I do not have asponsor at this time and know I am in great need of one but where I live the supply is extremely limited and the AA is not like it is up north where I come from.People here are just not willing to lend a hand and help the way AA is supposed to be.I am willing to accept help at this time,even from someone online if there is someone interested in being a temporary sponsor until I move up north in October.Please...someone help me...Thanx for all the support you all have given through the years it took me to get here today!

Hi, Heather.

You express yourself very well, so obviously there's nothing wrong with your mind, nothing keeping you from moving forward and having a very satisfying life.

Congratulations on all of that time sober. And, since you've been around a while, the following will perhaps make sense: Read the paragraph beginning at the bottom of page 83 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.

The answer to your problems, as you've described them, is in the Steps. Yes, get a sponsor, online or face-to-face. Apply the 12 Steps to what you are going through right now. All will be well.

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Thank you very much for your quick reply,and I will read it right now!Your response to my post was helpful by knowing you cared enough to write!Thanx again.

Hi Heather,

Funny how I was just thinking of it this morning and I came online and read your post! I am applying to a new job and I was thinking this morning of how many times I decieved myself and made sure to lose...

What I am doing now is to take it one day at a time. I do what is my responsibility to do and I stay in the moment, so I do not start to project. I am very good in build sand castles that I know will fly away in the wind... What I need today is to do the foot work and let the outcoming to a Higher Power.

Ansiety and fears can paralise us. If we do not project to the future and just do now what we are supposed to be doing now, we will be fine.

And it is always time to work in some more education and trainning. Have you checked what do you have available where you live? Many times there are trainning for free in employment agencies by the government.

We are having an AA meeting tonight here on Live Chat, it will be at 10pm eastern, join it if you are available at that time!

Hugs,
Lucia