Hello, Im Ahmed new member.. and i need help to get over of depressing that i had since i left the recovery house..im clean 4 monthes now and i left the recovery house since 2 weeks ago, and since i left it i cant do anything at all .......dont go meetings , dont talk to sponser no read no ANY THING .. and also i started to meet some ppls users and i feel so bad cause I CANT ... WHY/HOW .... and sometimes i feel it gonna be nice with a bottel and smoke nothing more and NO ONE GONNA KNOW and dont know how come i still clean till now i go everywhere i meet everybody i see EVERYTHING .. there is no Step1 or 2 or 3
Life is SuX
and also sometimes i feel that we live to die so why not spend it and live it!!!!!!!!!!!!
###### Why Me .... Why They Can Just Smoke or just Drink for 1 day ever week or every month !!!!
Why i must stay all my life like that..meetings,sponsers,reading,etc,etc
i feel so bad cause im away from the halfway and dont need to go to there again

Ahmed, it is very difficult to stay clean and sober when all your thoughts are guided toward fighting it. I think the only way I was able to finally get sober was to find myself in so much trouble and so much pain that I was willing to do anything to never feel that bad again. That's when I was able to "grab" AA and hold on. I guess you have to ask yourself "how much can I take?" And when you decide you have hurt enough, then it will be much easier to remain clean and sober.

You may not know what is ahead of you if you decide to try to drink and use now and then... but this you do know. When you want us, we will always be here, in rooms all across the world. Holding the door open for you.

Dianna