Hi everyone. My name is Jackie i am 20 years old and have been in a relationship with an alcholic for a little over a year now. I love and care for this man deeply but i don't no how much longer i can deal with his drinking. He has not attended meetings in months and has been getting drunk EVERY night. (Hes passed out on the couch right now) I feel like i am supporting his addiction by picking him up from the bars,, giving him money once in awhile, and just taking care of him when he is drunk. HE is a completely different perosn when he drinks and sometimes i am very scared of him. There have been times when he has choosen the bar over me. I guess my question is where do i draw the line and still be there for him. I am afraid if i dont pick him up when he is drunk that he will get behind the wheel and kill himself or someone else, I am afraid if i dont stay with him when he is drunk that he is gonna do something harmful to himself. I will take any advice or support anyone has to offer.

Hi, Jackie! Welcome to the forums.

Your instincts are correct -- when he is drunk he may get behind the wheel and kill himself or someone else or he may do something harmful to himself.

I would suggest Al-Anon. We have an Al-Anon email meeting here at the club, or there may be a local meeting near you. Look in the phone book, or you can search online here: http://www.al-anon.org . There is also a wide selection of online meetings, which you can browse here: http://www.ola-is.org

Being an alcoholic myself, and having had several relationships with alcoholics, and having looked into the illness quite a bit, I can tell you that if your friend is an alcoholic and he continues to drink -- things will get worse.

My advice? Tell him to stop drinking or get help or you are out the door.

Dean