Hi there, nice to 'meet' you. I am close friend of a woman who has been struggling with alcoholism since I met her nearly 10 years ago. She has tried several times to quit, never with the help of AA. However, she's gotten 'medical' help and some counseling.

At this moment, I am at her house awaiting her return (from afternoon drinking no doubt). I have some information from her job and I just don't know whether to tell her or not.

She is in a high position at her job, and has been working there for over 17 years. However, her alcoholism has gotten to the point now that no one is willing to
"cover" for her anymore they say. Everyone who works around her is going to say "no, no more", and let her get caught one more time and just let her get fired. (Last time I believe she'd passed out under her desk and got written up for that).

I want to tell her, but she is so sensitive I don't want her to freak out, or get angry at people at her job. At the same time, I feel irresponsible for NOT telling her.

Help??

Hi, Enilorak. Your friend is lucky to have you around!

Here's the thing about alcoholics, and this is from my experience, and I am one.

Not much will convince an alcoholic of anything until the alcoholic wants help. My personal experience was that once alcohol stopped working and my downward slide began I blamed everything and everyone. The one thing I did not do, was unwilling to do, was get help for my drinking problem.

I got arrested for drunk driving. That didn't stop me. I lost my relationship, business, home, credit, friends. None of that stopped me.

Fear of losing her job might stop your friend. Or it might not.

For the official word on what AA has to say about it, you might read two chapters in "Alcholics Anonymous": To Wives and To Employers. There's a lot of insight in there as to what can and can't be done to help. The book is available to read online at http://www.aa.org

Alternatively, if the woman is a long-time and close friend, you might consider Al-Anon. They have helped many, many people understand and deal with loved ones, friends, family members who are alcoholic.

Oh, and "Welcome!"