There is no way I can count the number of times ever heard is, over the past couple of decades I have found an alcoholic coming off a drunk who made that statement. Just today, one of my protégés called to tell me of a man, holed up in a cheap motel room, he was asked to locate and see if he could help him.
My protégé was successful in locating the suffering alcoholic and did what he had been instructed to do on a Twelve Step Call. He told him some of the story of his drinking and how he had come to know it to be an illness over which he had no control nor did the medical profession have a solution.

The suffering alcoholic finally said, “You’re doing to try to tell me about A.A. aren’t you?”

Jake said, “That is where I found my Solution.”

The sick one said, “I have gone to A.A. meetings for the last eight (8) months and did what they told me to do. It doesn’t work for me.”

Jake asked, “Did you take the Steps with a Sponsor who had been blessed with a spiritual experience as the result of having taken the Steps?”

The sick one said, “I think I did but the main thing they told me was just keep coming back and you’ll be OK. When I asked what else I should do, I was told, ‘Don’t drink and keep on going to more meetings.’ I did what they told me to do and A.A. just doesn’t work.”

A member of Alcoholics Anonymous found me near death in 1964 and told me he could help me. He said to me, “I understand. I have been where you are and I want to help you if you will let me.” I was willing to do anything. He took me to his A.A. Club and began sobering me up on Orange Juice with some honey mixed in it. When I began having Delirium Tremens, they added some Bay Rum to the mixture. There were no treatment centers in our area at that time and hospitals would not admit us for alcoholism. We either shook and sweat it out in jail or at an A.A. Club. By far, most of them made it to the end sober or they still are. I wasn’t one of them. I saw an opportunity to return my ego to its earlier level by getting involved in a new and exciting profession and so I went for it. Sixteen (16) years after my last drink; eleven (11) years after my last meeting, on a day without a cloud in the sky, I thought having a beer would be a good idea, so being in a very dry county, I drove seventy (70) miles for a Six-pack. It took me two (2) years to make it back to Alcoholics Anonymous very, very drunk.
But what a difference thirteen (13) years can make! There were no alcoholics laying around the Club with dry heaves. There were no blood shot eyes, sweating faces, no vibrating bodies, the aroma of alcoholism was missing. There was no orange juice in the refrigerator nor honey near the coffee pot. There was no Bay Rum in the file cabinet. It was no longer needed because almost everyone had gone to “treatment” and been medicated through the process of what is termed “de-tox.” They had missed those wonderful Golden Moments of the misery, suffering and pain of sobering up. At first, I thought the new approach was good but then I began to see the results. There was less and less commitment to the Group and the action necessary for long term emotional sobriety was being ignored.
There were very few Big Book Study or Speaker meetings but a large number of “Discussion/participation” meetings where everyone was given an opportunity to talk about whatever was on their mind whether on not they knew anything about alcoholism or recovery from alcoholism. There were even non-alcoholics participating in these meetings. This newer approach of learning to live with alcoholism was beginning to prove to be a dismal failure.
I heard a tape of Joe McQ. and later attended a weekend of Joe McQ. & Charlie P. presenting their “Big Book Comes Alive” program. It then became very clear why so many were returning to the bottle. Not only were we without sick alcoholics laying around the meeting places, there was so little Program in our meetings, it was almost hidden from the newcomers. No wonder so few were finding more than a few months of physical sobriety. They were denied what is required for long term emotional sobriety.
Without the sick alcoholics laying round the meeting place, I had to find a place where I could again see and smell alcoholism. I needed a frequent reminder of where I came from and what was waiting for me if I didn’t continue to pay the price for emotional sobriety. Over the years since I have been blessed to have been given another opportunity to survive the deadliest disease known to mankind, I have volunteered in many wind-up places where those coming off a drunk are present and available to talk with. Again and again, I heard that sickening statement, “I went to A.A. and it doesn’t work.”
Of course, they are right. Alcoholics Anonymous does not work! We MUST WORK IT! But they were not told the truth. My Basic Text reads, “Rarely, have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path” The “Path” being the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous as outlined in a book titled “Alcoholics Anonymous.” My Basic Text does not read, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of don’t drink and go to meetings…” It reads, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and practice these principles in all our affairs.”

Our real problem is ego driven sponsorship with very little if any real concern for the welfare of the newcomer. Proclaimed members of our Fellowship who have never taken the Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous will assume the responsibility for the life of a newcomer and will proudly announce the number of “sponsees” they have. As one of my dear friends said, “The manner in which we now fail our responsibility to the newcomer borders on slaughter.” The demise of our sense of responsibility to those seeking help for alcoholism is one of the greatest tragedies of our time in history. It works only if we work it!

Cliff B.

Interesting share perspective. What do you think?

APATHY.

“The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.”
Albert Einstein


In my life as an addict, I found myself deteriorating in every way possible. I was spiritually hungry, emotionally bereft, and physically a mess. I stopped caring about people, places or things. I was apathetic to such a degree that I no longer cared about anything.

That gradually changed when I embraced the Twelve Steps. I began to open my eyes to the world around me ~ the world I had shut out. The more I worked the Steps, the more I saw the reality of things. I became less selfish and began to try to make a difference -- not only in my own life, but also in the lives of those I cared about. I found myself loving more. I found I was once again capable of having compassion.

I am no longer afraid to speak out when I see misdeeds. I don't cower before those who would do harm to others. I embrace the good and the bad in this world I call home.

One day at a time...
I will do my part in making the world a better place. I will listen and hear what my Higher Power has in mind for me.

~ Mari

*Seven missed meetings makes one weak.

*If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got.
or
*If you keep doin' what your doin' you'll keep gettin' what your gettin'

*Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

*Pain is necessary, suffering is optional!

*The only thing alcoholics do in moderation is the 12 steps!

Slow-Guns
If you belong to a 12 step recovery program, you are now aware of these little sayings everyone seems to have. Often, these little sayings are SHOT AT YOU from both close and far firing grounds. Sometimes, when we are hit with these Slow Guns, it can cause a war inside for a while.

*Carry the message, not the mess.*

A Time to Think
*Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, but faith looks up.*
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I Don’t Believe in Defeat.

There is no difficulty you cannot overcome. A wise and philosophical man once
said to me, when asked how he overcame his difficulties, “How do I get through a
trouble? Well, first I try to go around it, and if I can’t go around it, I try to get under
it, and if I can’t get under it, I try to go over it, and if I can’t get over it, I just plow right
through it.” Then he added, “God and I plow right through it.”
An effective method for making your mind positive in character is to eliminate certain
expressions of thought and speech, which we may call the “little negatives.” These negatives
clutter up the average person’s conversation, and while each one is seemingly unimportant
in itself, the total effect is to condition the mind negatively. When this thought of
“little negatives” first occurred to me, I began to analyze my own conversational habits
and was shocked by what I found. I was making such statements as, “I’m afraid I’ll be
late,” or “I wonder if I’ll have a flat tire,” or “I don’t think I can do that.”
These are “little negatives” to be sure, and a big thought is of course more powerful
than a little one. But it must never be forgotten that “mighty oaks from little acorns
grow,” and if many “little negatives” clutter up your conversation, they are bound to seep
into your mind. It is surprising how they accumulate in force, and before you know it,
they will grow into “big negatives.” So I determined to root those “little negatives” out
of my conversation. I found that the best way to eliminate them was deliberately to say a
positive word about everything. When you keep asserting that things are going to work
out well, good results do occur.
On a roadside billboard I saw an advertisement of a certain brand of motor oil. The
slogan read, “A clean engine always delivers power.” So will a mind free of negatives.
Therefore flush out your thoughts, give yourself a clean mental engine, remembering that
a clean mind, even as a clean engine, always delivers power.
So to overcome your obstacles and live the “I don’t believe in defeat” philosophy,
cultivate a positive-idea pattern. What we do with obstacles is directly determined by
our mental attitude. Most of our obstacles are mental in character.
“Ah,” you may object, “mine are not mental, mine are real.” Perhaps so, but your attitude
toward them is mental. What you think about your obstacles largely determines what
you do about them. Form the mental attitude that you cannot remove an obstacle and you
will not remove it. But when your mind becomes convinced that you can do something
about difficulties, astonishing results will begin to happen. All of a sudden you discover
that you have the power you would never acknowledge.
I played golf with a man who was not only an excellent golfer but a philosopher as
well. As we went around the golf course the game itself drew out of him a gem of wisdom
for which I shall ever be grateful.
I hit a ball into some high grass. When we came up to my ball I said in some dismay,
“Now just look at that. I certainly am in the rough. I have a bad lie. It is going to be tough
getting out of here.”
My friend grinned and said, “Didn’t I read something in your books about positive
thinking?” Sheepishly I acknowledged that such was the case.
“I wouldn’t think negatively about that lie of yours,” he said. “Do you think you
could get a good hit if this ball were lying out on the fairway on the short grass?” I said I
thought so.
“Well,” he continued, “why do you think you could do better out there than here?”
“Because,” I replied, “the grass is cut short on the fairway and the ball can get away
better.”
Then he did a curious thing. “Let’s get down on our hands and knees,” he suggested,
“and see just how this ball does lie.” So we got down on our hands and knees, and he
said, “Observe that the relative height of the ball here is about the same as it would be on
the fairway, the only difference being that you have about six inches of grass above the
ball.”
Then he did an even more whimsical thing. “Notice the quality and character of this
grass,” he said. He pulled off a blade and handed it to me. “Chew it,” he said. I chewed,
and he asked, “Isn’t that tender?”
“Why, yes,” I replied.
“Well,” he continued, “an easy swing of your number-five iron will cut through that
grass almost like a knife.” And then he gave me this sentence, which I am going to
remember as long as I live, and I hope you will also. “The rough is only mental. In other
words,” he continued, “it is rough because you think it is. In your mind you have decided
that here is an obstacle which will cause you difficulty. The power to overcome this obstacle
is in your mind. If you visualize yourself lifting the ball out of the rough, believing
you can do it, your mind will transfer flexibility, rhythm and power to your muscles and
you will handle that club in such a manner that the ball will rise right out of there in a
beautiful shot.
All you need to do is to keep your eye on that ball and tell yourself that you are going
to lift it out of that grass with a lovely stroke. Let the stiffness and tension go out of you.
Hit it with exhilaration and power. Remember, the rough is only mental.”
To this day I remember the thrill, the sense of power and delight I had in the clean
shot that dropped the ball to the edge of the green.That is a great fact to remember in
connection with difficult problems—“the rough is only mental.”
Believe that Almighty God has put in you the power to lift yourself out of the rough
by keeping your eye firmly fixed on the source of your power. Affirm to yourself that
through this power you can do anything you have to do. Believe that this power is taking
the tension out of you, that this power is flowing through you. Believe this, and a sense of
victory will come.

Norman Vincent Peale

Try to postpone reaching any conclusions.

Finding a Group

For many of us, finding a support group has been the single most important step we have taken in our recovery. Isolation is one of the most powerful and damaging effects of addiction and abuse. Participating in a support group can begin to reduce that isolation. It doesn’t happen all at once – most of us have learned how to stay isolated even when we are in groups! But it can happen. And it can be a powerful way to experience God’s love and attentiveness to us.

The National Association for Christian Recovery is a network of individuals – not a network of support groups. There are no “NACR Groups”. We do, however, want to assist you in finding a support group that will help you in your recovery and we hope that the material provided here will give you a good start.

A few words of wisdom about committing to participation in a support group:

Try to postpone reaching any conclusions about whether or not a particular group will be helpful until you have attended several meetings of the group. Some people suggest that it takes attending 6-8 times before you can really know whether it’s a good fit. Initial reactions are just too complex to be your only guide about this.

The dynamics of support groups are usually quite different from the dynamics of other kinds of groups (like discussion groups or Bible study groups), so don’t assume you already know the social norms. Plan on it taking some time for you to figure out what is appropriate. It’s okay for this to take time!

There is nothing magical about the support group process – it is a tool, but we have to use the tool. There are things a support cannot do: It cannot do your recovery for you. Only you can do your recovery. But a good support group can offer a safe evironment to try out the new skills you are learning, allow you to learn from the experience, strength and hope of others and support you as you take the next step in your recovery.

Take what works and leave the rest. There will be probably be stuff that is unhelpful in any group. Expect that. It does not mean that group participation is a bad idea for you. Focus on what works. You can take the next step in your own recovery even in less than optimal circumstances.

If there are no written group guidelines which establish confidentiality as an requirement for all group participants, ask questions. You have a right to know the ‘rules of the game’.

Keep coming back! We all have times when it just doesn’t seem like it’s helping. Learn to distrust the inner voice that says “I can’t change” or “I’m not getting it right” or “my problems are so different from everyone elses” or “I’m not getting better fast enough”. It can be hard work sometimes – but you are worth it! You are a precious, lovable, fallable child of God, a unique and irreplaceable treasure! You are worth all the hard work.

CHRISTIAN RESOURCES
The best referrals to groups will come from someone you know who is already a member of a group. If you do not know of any church-based ministries, however, don’t hesitate to start by phoning the larger congregations in your community. Remember that a church which you would not consider attending regularly may nevertheless have a support group ministry which is well suited to your needs.

For a list of distinctively Christian 12 step groups go here
http://www.nacronline.com/christian-...-step-networks

SECULAR (Not explicitly Christian) RESOURCES
We encourage you not to dismiss lightly the possibility of finding a secular support group that will be helpful to you. Until recently, of course, finding an explicitly Christian support group was not really a possibility because so few existed. Most Christians in recovery today began their recovery journey in a ‘secular’ support group – and most still find that participation in ‘secular’ support groups is essential to maintaining their recovery!

In many places it will still be impossible to find an appropriate support group that is distinctively Christian in character. You will, however, find Christians in almost any recovery group. In some situations, participation in a secular group may mean tolerating some constraints on what can be said about your faith as part of the group process – try to remember that these constraints serve an important purpose for many people and that you can always supplement your secular group experience with other kinds of Christian fellowship in support of your recovery. It is also true that many Christians who struggle with spiritual abuse issues may find it helpful to begin their recovery in a setting which is completely free of religious connections – getting help in a secular setting does not mean that your recovery is any less Christian!

For a list of “secular” 12 step groups go here
http://www.nacronline.com/twelve-step-fellowships

SELF-HELP CENTERS
Another way to find a support group that fits your situation is to call one of the “Self-help Centers” which have formed in many states. Many have a computerized database of different kinds of groups. Often these Clearinghouses are a function of county Mental Health Associations – call your county government offices if there is no listing here.

For a complete listing of these centers see: Self Help Clearinghouse
http://www.mentalhelp.net/selfhelp/

As you can see there is something for everyone. recovery has no specific boundaries, it is up to you to find to find the right path.
__________________
"What we do for each other is the history we leave behind about us."