“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”
― M. Scott Peck
Expose yourself to as much as possible. Attend conferences no one else is attending. Read books no one else is reading. Talk to people no one else is talking to.
- Ben Casnocha, Author
“Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ”
― M. Scott Peck
In some cases we learn more by looking for the answer to a question than we do from learning the answer itself.
- Lloyd Alexander, Author of childrens books
Sometimes mistakes are the best thing that can happen, because they might lift you…out of your complacency, and open your mind up to a whole other area that you wouldn’t have gone to intentionally.
- Bobby McFerrin, Vocalist and composer
Full Version: Progress.
Not a Victim
You are not a victim.
How deeply ingrained our self-image as a victim can be! How habitual our feelings of misery and helplessness! Victimization can be like a gray cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to generate the feelings of victimization.
Victimization can be so habitual that we may feel victimized even by the good things that happen to us!
Got a new car? Yes, we sigh, but it doesn't run as well as I expected, and after all, it cost so much. . . .
You've got such a nice family! Yes, we sigh, but there are problems. And we've had such hard times. . . .
Well, your career certainly is going well! Ah, we sigh, but there is such a price to pay for success. All that extra paperwork. . . .
I have learned that, if we set our mind to it, we have an incredible, almost awesome ability to find misery in any situation, even the most wonderful of circumstances.
Shoulders bent, head down, we shuffle through life taking our blows.
Be done with it. Take off the gray cloak of despair, negativity, and victimization. Hurl it; let it blow away in the wind.
We are not victims. We may have been victimized. We may have allowed ourselves to be victimized. We may have sought out, created, or re created situations that victimized us. But we are not victims.
We can stand in our power. We do not have to allow ourselves to be victimized. We do not have to let others victimize us. We do not have to seek out misery in either the most miserable or the best situations.
We are free to stand in the glow of self-responsibility.
Set a boundary! Deal with the anger! Tell someone no, or stop that! Walk away from a relationship! Ask for what you need! Make choices and take responsibility for them. Explore options. Give yourself what you need! Stand up straight, head up, and claim your power. Claim responsibility for yourself!
And learn to enjoy what's good.
Today, I will refuse to think, talk, speak, or act like a victim. Instead, I will joyfully claim responsibility for myself and focus on what's good and right in my life.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
You are not a victim.
How deeply ingrained our self-image as a victim can be! How habitual our feelings of misery and helplessness! Victimization can be like a gray cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to generate the feelings of victimization.
Victimization can be so habitual that we may feel victimized even by the good things that happen to us!
Got a new car? Yes, we sigh, but it doesn't run as well as I expected, and after all, it cost so much. . . .
You've got such a nice family! Yes, we sigh, but there are problems. And we've had such hard times. . . .
Well, your career certainly is going well! Ah, we sigh, but there is such a price to pay for success. All that extra paperwork. . . .
I have learned that, if we set our mind to it, we have an incredible, almost awesome ability to find misery in any situation, even the most wonderful of circumstances.
Shoulders bent, head down, we shuffle through life taking our blows.
Be done with it. Take off the gray cloak of despair, negativity, and victimization. Hurl it; let it blow away in the wind.
We are not victims. We may have been victimized. We may have allowed ourselves to be victimized. We may have sought out, created, or re created situations that victimized us. But we are not victims.
We can stand in our power. We do not have to allow ourselves to be victimized. We do not have to let others victimize us. We do not have to seek out misery in either the most miserable or the best situations.
We are free to stand in the glow of self-responsibility.
Set a boundary! Deal with the anger! Tell someone no, or stop that! Walk away from a relationship! Ask for what you need! Make choices and take responsibility for them. Explore options. Give yourself what you need! Stand up straight, head up, and claim your power. Claim responsibility for yourself!
And learn to enjoy what's good.
Today, I will refuse to think, talk, speak, or act like a victim. Instead, I will joyfully claim responsibility for myself and focus on what's good and right in my life.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
How You Can Defeat Cynicism and Become a Positive Thinker. 
Do you assume the best or the worst? Are you filled with hope or are you filled with doubt? Do you think kindly of the people around you or do you judge their motivations? At times it seems as if the whole world is absorbed in negative cynicism. In this post I want to show you how you can defeat cynicism and become a positive thinker. It really isn’t that hard.
What is cynicism?
The Oxford English Dictionary defines cynicism in a very enlightening way:
“…a disposition to disbelieve in the sincerity or goodness of human motives and actions…”
The main thing to notice about the definition is the presence of negativity. A cynical person will almost always choose to doubt, disbelieve or discredit, even when there is no logical reason to do so.
How to defeat cynicism and become a positive thinker
1. Recognize the problem
As with all problems the first step is in the recognizing. Some people go their whole lives not realizing that they are horrible people with miserly outlooks and cynical views of the world. Thank yourself lucky that you have had the good fortune to recognize the problem and do something about it. This is the first step.
It might take a while for you to recognize that you are a negative thinker. It might even take one of your friends or family members to wake you up to it. That’s fine. When you finally see it just sit back and think to yourself, “Wow. I can be cynical sometimes.” That is all you have to do for now.
2. Recognize each cynical thought
Once you have realized that you can be a cynic the task is to start realizing it more often. Think of this as a bit of a mindfulness meditation. The idea is to become attuned to your own mind and thoughts and start to become aware of every cynical thought that you have.
Let’s say, for example, you meet someone at a party and they start telling you about their life. Perhaps they are a real overachiever and are sitting there talking to you about all of their fantastic accomplishments. Now, the cynic in you will probably start to say internal things like “I don’t believe this guy” and “I wish he would shut up”. Try to become aware of those thoughts. Don’t do anything with them just yet. Merely becoming aware of them is enough. This is mindfulness.
3. Use logic to debate the cynicism
Logic is a wonderful thing. Logic allows you to overcome destructive emotions and other negative things in your life. Why? Because 99% of the time the reason for your depression, anxiety, hatred or other negative feeling is illogical. If you debate the negative feeling using logic you will often find that the negative feeling gets weaker.
Cynicism, in my opinion, is usually illogical. People who are cynics seem to think the worst about a certain person or situation not because they have evidence for doing so, but because they are in the habit of thinking cynically. For example, assuming that all Muslims are extremist terrorists is a cynical thought that is not based in any shred of logic. Just because a couple of unstable idiots blew up the World Trade Center in the name of Jihad, it does not mean all Muslims are like that.
So the task is now to use logic to debate your cynicism. When you see a cynical thought arising in your mind I want to to ask yourself where it is coming from, why you are thinking like that and whether it is going to help you be happy. That is the main thing – ask yourself whether this cynical thought is going to make you happy. Ask yourself whether living a cynical life has made you happy so far. Ask yourself whether being cynic causes other people to like and respect you.
When you use logic in this way you will almost always find that cynicism doesn’t pay. It isn’t helping you or anyone else to by cynical. Try it and see how you go.
4. Make a definitive choice to be positive
Everything good in life comes from a choice. When you make a choice to do something you do everything that you can to make that thing come about. If you make the choice to get a car you save money, do research and possibly get a loan. The same is true for positive thinking – when you make the choice to be positive you will do all that you can to be positive.
The best way to make a choice is to make a firm promise to yourself. You need to find a quiet place to sit down and tell yourself that from this day onward you are going to do everything you can to be a more positive person. You are going to avoid cynicism and look on the bright side of life. Make a promise to do this.
5. Look at positive people for inspiration
Sometimes it takes a little bit of inspiration to move away from cynicism and negativity. For example, take a look Hollywood stars like Will Smith, Hugh Jackman and Oprah. These people are renowned for having positive outlooks on life. They are happy and they love helping people. They choose to see the good in those around them and inspire other people to do the same.
Contrast those people with more self absorbed Hollywood stars like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. People don’t like them. People know they are self absorbed and negative and don’t draw much inspiration from them. People look down on them.
The same is probably true for your circle of friends. There will be positive folks and negative cynical folks. Try to become aware of how you view these different people. Now which side of the fence would you rather be on – the side that inspires people and makes them happy or the side that is constantly complaining, being negative and “hating” on others?
6. Focus on people’s qualities
The last method I want to give you is the one that has worked the best for me. It is the simple art of choosing to look at people’s qualities instead of their negative attributes. This is one of the best ways to turn yourself into a positive thinker.
After you have mastered step one and two you will become more aware of your negative thoughts. Once you can do this you will be able to start focusing on people’s positive qualities. For example, if you are talking to someone who has bad body odor it is tempting to start thinking about them in a negative way. But once you become aware of those thoughts you can turn them around. Instead of focusing on the bad smell why not focus on his nice smile, friendly conversation manner or gentle eyes? Why not focus on the fact that this person is probably a great father, brother or son?
If you can focus on the positive things in people you will soon start to see your cynicism float away.
Do you assume the best or the worst? Are you filled with hope or are you filled with doubt? Do you think kindly of the people around you or do you judge their motivations? At times it seems as if the whole world is absorbed in negative cynicism. In this post I want to show you how you can defeat cynicism and become a positive thinker. It really isn’t that hard.
What is cynicism?
The Oxford English Dictionary defines cynicism in a very enlightening way:
“…a disposition to disbelieve in the sincerity or goodness of human motives and actions…”
The main thing to notice about the definition is the presence of negativity. A cynical person will almost always choose to doubt, disbelieve or discredit, even when there is no logical reason to do so.
How to defeat cynicism and become a positive thinker
1. Recognize the problem
As with all problems the first step is in the recognizing. Some people go their whole lives not realizing that they are horrible people with miserly outlooks and cynical views of the world. Thank yourself lucky that you have had the good fortune to recognize the problem and do something about it. This is the first step.
It might take a while for you to recognize that you are a negative thinker. It might even take one of your friends or family members to wake you up to it. That’s fine. When you finally see it just sit back and think to yourself, “Wow. I can be cynical sometimes.” That is all you have to do for now.
2. Recognize each cynical thought
Once you have realized that you can be a cynic the task is to start realizing it more often. Think of this as a bit of a mindfulness meditation. The idea is to become attuned to your own mind and thoughts and start to become aware of every cynical thought that you have.
Let’s say, for example, you meet someone at a party and they start telling you about their life. Perhaps they are a real overachiever and are sitting there talking to you about all of their fantastic accomplishments. Now, the cynic in you will probably start to say internal things like “I don’t believe this guy” and “I wish he would shut up”. Try to become aware of those thoughts. Don’t do anything with them just yet. Merely becoming aware of them is enough. This is mindfulness.
3. Use logic to debate the cynicism
Logic is a wonderful thing. Logic allows you to overcome destructive emotions and other negative things in your life. Why? Because 99% of the time the reason for your depression, anxiety, hatred or other negative feeling is illogical. If you debate the negative feeling using logic you will often find that the negative feeling gets weaker.
Cynicism, in my opinion, is usually illogical. People who are cynics seem to think the worst about a certain person or situation not because they have evidence for doing so, but because they are in the habit of thinking cynically. For example, assuming that all Muslims are extremist terrorists is a cynical thought that is not based in any shred of logic. Just because a couple of unstable idiots blew up the World Trade Center in the name of Jihad, it does not mean all Muslims are like that.
So the task is now to use logic to debate your cynicism. When you see a cynical thought arising in your mind I want to to ask yourself where it is coming from, why you are thinking like that and whether it is going to help you be happy. That is the main thing – ask yourself whether this cynical thought is going to make you happy. Ask yourself whether living a cynical life has made you happy so far. Ask yourself whether being cynic causes other people to like and respect you.
When you use logic in this way you will almost always find that cynicism doesn’t pay. It isn’t helping you or anyone else to by cynical. Try it and see how you go.
4. Make a definitive choice to be positive
Everything good in life comes from a choice. When you make a choice to do something you do everything that you can to make that thing come about. If you make the choice to get a car you save money, do research and possibly get a loan. The same is true for positive thinking – when you make the choice to be positive you will do all that you can to be positive.
The best way to make a choice is to make a firm promise to yourself. You need to find a quiet place to sit down and tell yourself that from this day onward you are going to do everything you can to be a more positive person. You are going to avoid cynicism and look on the bright side of life. Make a promise to do this.
5. Look at positive people for inspiration
Sometimes it takes a little bit of inspiration to move away from cynicism and negativity. For example, take a look Hollywood stars like Will Smith, Hugh Jackman and Oprah. These people are renowned for having positive outlooks on life. They are happy and they love helping people. They choose to see the good in those around them and inspire other people to do the same.
Contrast those people with more self absorbed Hollywood stars like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. People don’t like them. People know they are self absorbed and negative and don’t draw much inspiration from them. People look down on them.
The same is probably true for your circle of friends. There will be positive folks and negative cynical folks. Try to become aware of how you view these different people. Now which side of the fence would you rather be on – the side that inspires people and makes them happy or the side that is constantly complaining, being negative and “hating” on others?
6. Focus on people’s qualities
The last method I want to give you is the one that has worked the best for me. It is the simple art of choosing to look at people’s qualities instead of their negative attributes. This is one of the best ways to turn yourself into a positive thinker.
After you have mastered step one and two you will become more aware of your negative thoughts. Once you can do this you will be able to start focusing on people’s positive qualities. For example, if you are talking to someone who has bad body odor it is tempting to start thinking about them in a negative way. But once you become aware of those thoughts you can turn them around. Instead of focusing on the bad smell why not focus on his nice smile, friendly conversation manner or gentle eyes? Why not focus on the fact that this person is probably a great father, brother or son?
If you can focus on the positive things in people you will soon start to see your cynicism float away.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
This minute
This minute is the most important one, because this minute is the one you can use. There is so much you can do in this minute if you’ll simply allow the best possibilities to unfold.
Let go of the regrets and guilt and resentment you’ve carried with you from other times. See how foolish it is to be held back by fears about days that have not yet even arrived.
Think of all the good things that truly mean so much to you. Give your focus to those things, and make use of this minute, right now and right here, to expand on that goodness in your world.
Don’t be concerned about what might or might not be, or what others might or might not think of you. Live instead from your authentic center, and make this minute one that adds value to your experience.
Though you may have good excuses for holding back, use this minute to move forward. Though the effort will not be easy, your life is worth the trouble.
This minute is filled with promise and possibility. Right now is when you can transform it into real and lasting value, so do.
— Ralph Marston
This minute
This minute is the most important one, because this minute is the one you can use. There is so much you can do in this minute if you’ll simply allow the best possibilities to unfold.
Let go of the regrets and guilt and resentment you’ve carried with you from other times. See how foolish it is to be held back by fears about days that have not yet even arrived.
Think of all the good things that truly mean so much to you. Give your focus to those things, and make use of this minute, right now and right here, to expand on that goodness in your world.
Don’t be concerned about what might or might not be, or what others might or might not think of you. Live instead from your authentic center, and make this minute one that adds value to your experience.
Though you may have good excuses for holding back, use this minute to move forward. Though the effort will not be easy, your life is worth the trouble.
This minute is filled with promise and possibility. Right now is when you can transform it into real and lasting value, so do.
— Ralph Marston
SHAME
”It is not the criminal things that are hardest to confess,
but the ridiculous and the shameful.”
Jean Jacques Rousseau
I had a very strange childhood filled with lots of emotional and physical neglect. Combine that with moving about once a year and being deemed as "unacceptable" by each new community we moved into, and how could I help but feel a great sense of shame about everything about me?
As an adult I left home and became a well-respected part of a new community. I have lived in the same nice house, with a beautiful yard, and had well kept-children. In spite of all the evidence to the contrary, internally I was still that "unacceptable" child. I had not told anyone about my childhood because I felt it to be a shameful secret. I thought that much of my adult unhappiness was deserved because I truly believed that even though no one knew the truth about me, deep down I really was still unacceptable.
Since coming to TRG, I have been releasing something far more important than the 60 pounds of weight I have lost. I have begun to release the shame, the sense of being unacceptable, and the sense of being unworthy and unlovable. I have shared my secrets with wonderfully-loving, accepting people. By sharing my secrets I am releasing my pain. My request that my name not be revealed at the end of this meditation, though, clearly states that I still have work to do. TRG, the program, and the steps are offering me the means to recovery and I will gratefully accept the offer!
One day at a time...
I will remember that the old false self-perceptions are no longer relevant in my life. I am learning new ways of self-acceptance and new ways of self-nurturing that will serve me far better.
~ Karen A.
”It is not the criminal things that are hardest to confess,
but the ridiculous and the shameful.”
Jean Jacques Rousseau
I had a very strange childhood filled with lots of emotional and physical neglect. Combine that with moving about once a year and being deemed as "unacceptable" by each new community we moved into, and how could I help but feel a great sense of shame about everything about me?
As an adult I left home and became a well-respected part of a new community. I have lived in the same nice house, with a beautiful yard, and had well kept-children. In spite of all the evidence to the contrary, internally I was still that "unacceptable" child. I had not told anyone about my childhood because I felt it to be a shameful secret. I thought that much of my adult unhappiness was deserved because I truly believed that even though no one knew the truth about me, deep down I really was still unacceptable.
Since coming to TRG, I have been releasing something far more important than the 60 pounds of weight I have lost. I have begun to release the shame, the sense of being unacceptable, and the sense of being unworthy and unlovable. I have shared my secrets with wonderfully-loving, accepting people. By sharing my secrets I am releasing my pain. My request that my name not be revealed at the end of this meditation, though, clearly states that I still have work to do. TRG, the program, and the steps are offering me the means to recovery and I will gratefully accept the offer!
One day at a time...
I will remember that the old false self-perceptions are no longer relevant in my life. I am learning new ways of self-acceptance and new ways of self-nurturing that will serve me far better.
~ Karen A.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Simply be happy
If you want to be helpful, be happy. If you want to be successful, be happy.
Happiness is not the result of a life well lived. Happiness is the fuel for a life well lived.
If you won’t let yourself be happy, you can’t be happy. Yet when you simply allow happiness, nothing can keep it from you.
But isn’t it naive to be happy when there are problems and tragedies, disappointments and obstacles throughout life? Actually, it is a sense of happiness and positive self worth that will push you successfully through even the most difficult challenges.
You don’t have to justify your happiness, or explain it or be ashamed of it. Just let it be, and let its power create real, meaningful value in your world.
In fact, there’s nothing you must be happy about. Simply be happy, and let your authentic joy lift your whole world higher.
— Ralph Marston
Simply be happy
If you want to be helpful, be happy. If you want to be successful, be happy.
Happiness is not the result of a life well lived. Happiness is the fuel for a life well lived.
If you won’t let yourself be happy, you can’t be happy. Yet when you simply allow happiness, nothing can keep it from you.
But isn’t it naive to be happy when there are problems and tragedies, disappointments and obstacles throughout life? Actually, it is a sense of happiness and positive self worth that will push you successfully through even the most difficult challenges.
You don’t have to justify your happiness, or explain it or be ashamed of it. Just let it be, and let its power create real, meaningful value in your world.
In fact, there’s nothing you must be happy about. Simply be happy, and let your authentic joy lift your whole world higher.
— Ralph Marston
Every individual has a place to fill in the world and is important in some respect, whether he chooses to be so or not.
-- Nathaniel Hawthorne
Friday, October 7, 2011
The secret is
There are lots of good, positive intentions, but not nearly as many positive results. What’s the secret for transforming your best intentions into the reality of rock-solid results?
The secret is, there is no secret. The best technique is to forget about finding a technique, and to live each moment with your purposeful intention as your guide.
Whatever you truly desire will pull you steadily toward itself. Let the desire supply the direction, while letting yourself supply the passion, the energy and the effort.
Instead of fighting the complexity, work your way steadily through it. Rather than resenting the difficulty of the effort, see the pathway provided by that effort, leading reliably toward fulfillment.
The way to make achievement meaningful, the way to make it yours, is to live it moment by moment. Live and act not from a static recipe, but from the dynamic, ever-growing power of your authentic intention.
Feel who you know you can be, feel how you know life can be, and then put the way you feel into action. The way of success is not something outside you that you must discover, but rather the beautiful essence within you that you’re able to share.
— Ralph Marston
-- Nathaniel Hawthorne
Friday, October 7, 2011
The secret is
There are lots of good, positive intentions, but not nearly as many positive results. What’s the secret for transforming your best intentions into the reality of rock-solid results?
The secret is, there is no secret. The best technique is to forget about finding a technique, and to live each moment with your purposeful intention as your guide.
Whatever you truly desire will pull you steadily toward itself. Let the desire supply the direction, while letting yourself supply the passion, the energy and the effort.
Instead of fighting the complexity, work your way steadily through it. Rather than resenting the difficulty of the effort, see the pathway provided by that effort, leading reliably toward fulfillment.
The way to make achievement meaningful, the way to make it yours, is to live it moment by moment. Live and act not from a static recipe, but from the dynamic, ever-growing power of your authentic intention.
Feel who you know you can be, feel how you know life can be, and then put the way you feel into action. The way of success is not something outside you that you must discover, but rather the beautiful essence within you that you’re able to share.
— Ralph Marston
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Worthy of all you imagine
You are worthy of all you can imagine. In fact, in a very real sense, all you can imagine is precisely who you are.
At first it can seem easy to blame all the forces outside of you for your fate. However, in the long run that turns into a very painful and difficult perspective.
It takes effort and strength to accept full responsibility for all you are. Yet when you do, you suddenly have the very real power to become whatever you choose to become.
You are worthy of the best, because you can define what that means and create it within your life. You are in control of your perspective, and with that control comes the power to experience life in whatever way you choose.
To truly live is to take full responsibility for living. To richly live is to exercise that responsibility with love in every moment.
Embrace the responsibility, and imagine what real joy looks like to you. Then, with the best of what you imagine leading the way, fully live that joy.
— Ralph Marston
Worthy of all you imagine
You are worthy of all you can imagine. In fact, in a very real sense, all you can imagine is precisely who you are.
At first it can seem easy to blame all the forces outside of you for your fate. However, in the long run that turns into a very painful and difficult perspective.
It takes effort and strength to accept full responsibility for all you are. Yet when you do, you suddenly have the very real power to become whatever you choose to become.
You are worthy of the best, because you can define what that means and create it within your life. You are in control of your perspective, and with that control comes the power to experience life in whatever way you choose.
To truly live is to take full responsibility for living. To richly live is to exercise that responsibility with love in every moment.
Embrace the responsibility, and imagine what real joy looks like to you. Then, with the best of what you imagine leading the way, fully live that joy.
— Ralph Marston
BALANCE SHEET
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if
you do not care who gets the credit.”
Harry S. Truman
Before I came to recovery, I kept an emotional account of all my positive actions. I didn't really do that many good things, but the few I did were meant to show how great and kind I was. I even “wrote down” smiles, talking politely, giving a hand in the house, or filling in at work. I expected a great reward one day for all of my good actions ~ especially considering all of the things I put up with. I wanted people to speak well of me. I wanted people to grieve in great sorrow at my funeral for losing the fantastic person I was. Because I felt I never got back half of what I had put into this balance sheet, my resentments started to block me from acting nicely. Why help out, when nobody ever does anything for me? I didn't have an honest focus on reality. I felt worn out, bitter, used and angry. Why was I never paid what I deserved?
I learned in recovery that I have a terminal disease which will kill me sooner or later -- if I do not change my thinking and acting. I am powerless over this disease. The only thing I can do is to admit I’m powerless and surrender. As I see it, this disease is the primary reason I have gotten into trouble all my life. I am self-centered, bitter, immature and insecure. Before I entered these rooms, I didn't know how to have a real friend, or brush my teeth on a daily basis. In this program, I learned that I am worthy, loveable, and an ordinary woman -- with my positive and negative sides -- just like everyone else. When I am accountable today to God as I understand him, I do not need an emotional balance sheet. I do not need to grow bitter or hate other people.
One day at a time...
Because I have so generously been given a new life in this program, I choose to give service to my homegroup and to give time and patience to my sponsees. I choose to give of myself, for that does not have a price, in money or in diplomas. I no longer need the credit for what I give.
~ Trine
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if
you do not care who gets the credit.”
Harry S. Truman
Before I came to recovery, I kept an emotional account of all my positive actions. I didn't really do that many good things, but the few I did were meant to show how great and kind I was. I even “wrote down” smiles, talking politely, giving a hand in the house, or filling in at work. I expected a great reward one day for all of my good actions ~ especially considering all of the things I put up with. I wanted people to speak well of me. I wanted people to grieve in great sorrow at my funeral for losing the fantastic person I was. Because I felt I never got back half of what I had put into this balance sheet, my resentments started to block me from acting nicely. Why help out, when nobody ever does anything for me? I didn't have an honest focus on reality. I felt worn out, bitter, used and angry. Why was I never paid what I deserved?
I learned in recovery that I have a terminal disease which will kill me sooner or later -- if I do not change my thinking and acting. I am powerless over this disease. The only thing I can do is to admit I’m powerless and surrender. As I see it, this disease is the primary reason I have gotten into trouble all my life. I am self-centered, bitter, immature and insecure. Before I entered these rooms, I didn't know how to have a real friend, or brush my teeth on a daily basis. In this program, I learned that I am worthy, loveable, and an ordinary woman -- with my positive and negative sides -- just like everyone else. When I am accountable today to God as I understand him, I do not need an emotional balance sheet. I do not need to grow bitter or hate other people.
One day at a time...
Because I have so generously been given a new life in this program, I choose to give service to my homegroup and to give time and patience to my sponsees. I choose to give of myself, for that does not have a price, in money or in diplomas. I no longer need the credit for what I give.
~ Trine
Monday, October 10, 2011
Imagine differently
The way you are is the way you believe you are. Change what you believe about you, and you change your life.
It’s easy to assume that you’ll always be stuck with how you are right now. Your present perspective is powerful because you feel it with your whole being.
But your habits are your habits only because you keep choosing to maintain them. The limitations you assume yourself to have, are yours only because you continue to believe, support and defend those assumptions.
You can imagine differently. You can imagine a more fulfilled, effective and purposeful you.
Instead of spending all your thoughts and energy on your problems and frustrations, give some power and feeling to your dreams. Rather than conjuring up excuses for why you can’t live those dreams, visualize rich scenarios in which you are bringing them fully to life.
If you’re not completely satisfied with how you are, imagine differently. Intensely feel the beauty and joy of what you imagine, and steadily bring it to life.
— Ralph Marston
Imagine differently
The way you are is the way you believe you are. Change what you believe about you, and you change your life.
It’s easy to assume that you’ll always be stuck with how you are right now. Your present perspective is powerful because you feel it with your whole being.
But your habits are your habits only because you keep choosing to maintain them. The limitations you assume yourself to have, are yours only because you continue to believe, support and defend those assumptions.
You can imagine differently. You can imagine a more fulfilled, effective and purposeful you.
Instead of spending all your thoughts and energy on your problems and frustrations, give some power and feeling to your dreams. Rather than conjuring up excuses for why you can’t live those dreams, visualize rich scenarios in which you are bringing them fully to life.
If you’re not completely satisfied with how you are, imagine differently. Intensely feel the beauty and joy of what you imagine, and steadily bring it to life.
— Ralph Marston
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Live a moment of joy
Live a moment of joy, right here. Live a moment of genuine meaning and fulfillment, right now.
Let go of the assumption that you are striving to get something. Raise your awareness to the point where you can see that your fulfillment is already and always unfolding.
This day is filled with new opportunities for you to discover and express what it means to be alive. This situation gives you countless possibilities for exploring and experiencing what it means to be you.
Take a refreshing step back from the confining labels of frustration and limitation. See that whatever is, is an opportunity for rich fulfillment.
You are the awareness of all you love and value. You are the living embodiment of how it feels to experience fulfillment.
Smile from deep inside, and let the joy flow outward. This is a perfectly beautiful moment to live, so give life the best you have.
— Ralph Marston
Live a moment of joy
Live a moment of joy, right here. Live a moment of genuine meaning and fulfillment, right now.
Let go of the assumption that you are striving to get something. Raise your awareness to the point where you can see that your fulfillment is already and always unfolding.
This day is filled with new opportunities for you to discover and express what it means to be alive. This situation gives you countless possibilities for exploring and experiencing what it means to be you.
Take a refreshing step back from the confining labels of frustration and limitation. See that whatever is, is an opportunity for rich fulfillment.
You are the awareness of all you love and value. You are the living embodiment of how it feels to experience fulfillment.
Smile from deep inside, and let the joy flow outward. This is a perfectly beautiful moment to live, so give life the best you have.
— Ralph Marston
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Get purposeful
Even the most luxurious conditions can be nearly impossible to endure if there’s no purpose toward which you are moving. Even the most painful, desperate conditions can be relatively easy to endure when there’s an important, meaningful reason to do so.
Purpose makes all the difference. The crucial factor in any undertaking is not what you must do, but why you are doing it in the first place.
Yes, doing the work is absolutely necessary. And what will get the work done is a clear and unambiguous knowing of why you’re doing it.
If you’re having trouble focusing, don’t merely strive to improve your focus. Work on solidly connecting with your authentic purpose.
Anything is possible, but what you seek is not just anything. What’s possible for you is what’s truly meaningful to you.
Knowing what you seek and why, is what will relentlessly drive you to reach it. Get clear, get honest, get purposeful, and you cannot help but get it done.
— Ralph Marston
Get purposeful
Even the most luxurious conditions can be nearly impossible to endure if there’s no purpose toward which you are moving. Even the most painful, desperate conditions can be relatively easy to endure when there’s an important, meaningful reason to do so.
Purpose makes all the difference. The crucial factor in any undertaking is not what you must do, but why you are doing it in the first place.
Yes, doing the work is absolutely necessary. And what will get the work done is a clear and unambiguous knowing of why you’re doing it.
If you’re having trouble focusing, don’t merely strive to improve your focus. Work on solidly connecting with your authentic purpose.
Anything is possible, but what you seek is not just anything. What’s possible for you is what’s truly meaningful to you.
Knowing what you seek and why, is what will relentlessly drive you to reach it. Get clear, get honest, get purposeful, and you cannot help but get it done.
— Ralph Marston
Patience
“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect
before which difficulties and obstacles vanish.”
John Quincy Adams
When I first walked through the meeting doors, I wanted recovery and I wanted it now! Give me the magic wand, I’ll waive it, then get on with my life—I thought.
One of the most difficult things I’ve had to learn is the art of patience and allowing God to work within his own time while I do the footwork to the best of my ability. It is my belief that the universe and my Higher Power will order the next level of my physical recovery. Physical recovery does not grow without spiritual progress. This Program is a journey, not a crash-course in fad.
When I struggled with bouts of pride connected to my levels of patience and God’s timing, I knew I was uncovering yet another character flaw that could delay my spiritual recovery. Spiritual recovery, as “Old-timers” have told us again and again, is the actual foundation of the program. The “inner” person will eventually make its way to the outer person.
One day at a time...
Today I will slow down, take a deep breath, and just remind myself that my Higher Power is in control and that my natural pattern will develop under His nurture, care, and control.
~ January
“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect
before which difficulties and obstacles vanish.”
John Quincy Adams
When I first walked through the meeting doors, I wanted recovery and I wanted it now! Give me the magic wand, I’ll waive it, then get on with my life—I thought.
One of the most difficult things I’ve had to learn is the art of patience and allowing God to work within his own time while I do the footwork to the best of my ability. It is my belief that the universe and my Higher Power will order the next level of my physical recovery. Physical recovery does not grow without spiritual progress. This Program is a journey, not a crash-course in fad.
When I struggled with bouts of pride connected to my levels of patience and God’s timing, I knew I was uncovering yet another character flaw that could delay my spiritual recovery. Spiritual recovery, as “Old-timers” have told us again and again, is the actual foundation of the program. The “inner” person will eventually make its way to the outer person.
One day at a time...
Today I will slow down, take a deep breath, and just remind myself that my Higher Power is in control and that my natural pattern will develop under His nurture, care, and control.
~ January
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Greater authenticity
If you fall short of the goal, make another effort. If the efforts continue to fall short, find another strategy.
If the updated strategy doesn’t work, reconnect with your essential purpose. In that purpose is a driving energy that will never fail you.
You cannot fail at living and expressing who you truly are. The only real failure is to hold that back.
If some particular endeavor fails to bring the desired results, it’s probably because there’s not enough of you in it. Failure can in fact be a powerful force that will push you and compel you toward greater authenticity.
If it’s not working for you, it’s not coming from the truth of who you are. To be more effective, be more honest, more authentic, more willing to follow your deepest desires.
Be who you are, say what you mean, and work on what’s truly important to you. The more authentic you are, the more successful you’ll be.
— Ralph Marston
Read more: http://greatday.com/#ixzz1aqtbD5JL
Greater authenticity
If you fall short of the goal, make another effort. If the efforts continue to fall short, find another strategy.
If the updated strategy doesn’t work, reconnect with your essential purpose. In that purpose is a driving energy that will never fail you.
You cannot fail at living and expressing who you truly are. The only real failure is to hold that back.
If some particular endeavor fails to bring the desired results, it’s probably because there’s not enough of you in it. Failure can in fact be a powerful force that will push you and compel you toward greater authenticity.
If it’s not working for you, it’s not coming from the truth of who you are. To be more effective, be more honest, more authentic, more willing to follow your deepest desires.
Be who you are, say what you mean, and work on what’s truly important to you. The more authentic you are, the more successful you’ll be.
— Ralph Marston
Read more: http://greatday.com/#ixzz1aqtbD5JL
The will to win is not nearly as important as the will to prepare to win.
-- Bobby Knight
Feel whatever you choose
Stop working so diligently to make your feelings match your circumstances. Realize instead that you can select and direct your feelings to create much more favorable circumstances of your own choosing.
There’s no law that says you must harbor feelings of disappointment, dismay, anger and futility when events don’t go your way. You can just as easily feel amused, enlightened and more positively inspired than ever before.
You could use your feelings to prolong a difficult situation. Or you can choose other feelings that will enable you to transcend your greatest difficulties and move forward.
How do you feel positive when the world around you is so negative? Just ask yourself whether you would rather be imprisoned by your feelings or empowered by them.
From moment to moment, you are constantly choosing which feelings to hold on to and which ones to discard. Be ever mindful of this power that is yours, for by improving the way you feel you can improve anything in your life to whatever degree you decide.
Your feelings are powerful forces, and by taking control of them you can move your life in any direction. Feel whatever you choose, and you are choosing to make it so.
— Ralph Marston
-- Bobby Knight
Feel whatever you choose
Stop working so diligently to make your feelings match your circumstances. Realize instead that you can select and direct your feelings to create much more favorable circumstances of your own choosing.
There’s no law that says you must harbor feelings of disappointment, dismay, anger and futility when events don’t go your way. You can just as easily feel amused, enlightened and more positively inspired than ever before.
You could use your feelings to prolong a difficult situation. Or you can choose other feelings that will enable you to transcend your greatest difficulties and move forward.
How do you feel positive when the world around you is so negative? Just ask yourself whether you would rather be imprisoned by your feelings or empowered by them.
From moment to moment, you are constantly choosing which feelings to hold on to and which ones to discard. Be ever mindful of this power that is yours, for by improving the way you feel you can improve anything in your life to whatever degree you decide.
Your feelings are powerful forces, and by taking control of them you can move your life in any direction. Feel whatever you choose, and you are choosing to make it so.
— Ralph Marston
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