Hi, I'm new to chat room but so happy to find a place to vent my feelings. First I am a alcoholic and have not drank in 14 years. 4 years ago I got married to an accountant. He was (or seemed) square. By this I mean he did not drink more than 2 drinks, wore glasses and dressed in flood pants and wore a tie every time we met.
We married and a few months later, I had some female surgery that was botched. The dr. nicked my bowel and was hospitalized and suffered several more surgeries. During all this time my husband was smoking pot on a regular basis. After my 2nd hospitalization, I was so sick during recovery that I asked for some pot. I was like a cancer patient on chemo and could not eat for several weeks. The pot saved me as I WOULD NOT do anthing to break my sobriety. Being the total alcoholic, I didn't stop smoking after I was well. I did stop smoking about 2 months ago. My husband smokes 3 times a day (before work at 5:30 am).
Since his life DID NOT SEEM unmanageable I thought it would be okay to allow him to continue. Although I hated the way he was a couch potato from friday to monday and did nothing to work around the house. He does not like to go anywhere or have any friends. He doesn't even shower during the time on friday to monday.
I finally got fed up last week and called the police and asked them to talk to him. When they didn't seem to care, I called his parents (who don't even know he smokes cigarettes) and told them the entire truth. I knew that this was my last resort as he promised to stop so many times.
I've called my sponser and she told me to go back to AA, identify as newcomer and also go to alanon. My schedule is already full and can make AA meeting but feel wonderful that I can go on the chat room and read others' stories.
I feel so frightened that my husband or is brother (supplier) will harm me in some way because they see me as a snitch. Am I just crazy? Thanks for any reply. Jo

HI,IM REAL NEW TO THIS TOO.I ALSO TYPE REAL BAD.I LIVE WITH A POT-SMOKER-(ADDICT), MY 17 YR OLD SON.I AM IN RECOVERY.I STARTED AT 21,AND HAD MY MOMENTS ,BUT I HAVE REAL CLEAN TIME,2 YRS IN DEC.I HAVE NO DESIRE TO DRINK.ALCOHOL WAS MY DRUG OF CHOICE BUT I PICKED UP POT.SINCE IM NOW 43,AND LIVE MOST OF MY TIME WITHOUT SUBSTANCES,I FELT LIKE A HIPOCRIT.I STARTED TO SMOKE AND DRIVE.I WAS HIDING IT.BUYING IT WAS A PAIN.IT JUST STARTED TO GET TO COMPLICATED. MY SON IS SMOKING DRINKING,LYING,STEALING?,WHATEVER.IM SO BROKEN HEARTED ABOUT THIS.IM SO AFRAID HELL GET INTO STRONGER STUFF.I WORRY ALL THE TIME.I OVEREAT BECAUSE OF THE STRESS OF THIS.IVE GAINED 15LBS IN THE LAST YEAR.I HAD ANEAR NERVOUS BRKDWN.(IVE BEEN THERE BEFORE).I SENT HIM TO BOOT CAMP IN N.C,I LIVE IN N.Y,HES BEEN IN 2 REHABS IN P.A.HE IS A HIGH SCHOOL DROP OUT TOO.IM TRYING TO HELP HIM GET HIS GED,JOB,ANYTHING.I FEEL I HAVE LESS THEN ONE YEAR TO FILL HIM WITH POSITIVE STUFF.HE SAYS HES LEAVING WHEN HES 18. TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I HOPE HE DOES.I WONT HAVE TO WATCH IT.IT WILL BE SINK OR SWIM. MY SON IS NOT ABAD KID.HE JUST DOESNT LEARN HIS LESSON AND DOES STUPID STUFF.THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE.

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Smoking pot, drinking alcohol, doing recreational drugs is all the same for addicts and alcoholics. I have no advice, but I can say establishing boundaries is essential for my serenity and I don't think I could live with an active addict or alcoholic.
I guess if I was in either of your shoes I'd have to draw a line in the sand and let the potheads know what they do is their business, but what they do around me becomes my business.
We either tolerate stuff or we don't.
Pray for guidance from your HPs and await the message. That will work, if you let it.

I agree with Karen LET GO AND LET GOD ....

REMEMBER WHEN WE IN THEIR POSTION..or myself for that matter.. I have only been sober a short while but i swam uphill for along time to get to this shore and no one helpled me but myself and my HP (By the Grace of God)